Day 16 - October 20th

My pedometer looks all mangled so I reset it. I feel my asthma playing up so sleep in until 10.30 today. People can be sooo noisy when they get ready for the day. It took the people in my room a good hour to get ready and get out of the room, making as much racket as possible! I suppose that's what I get for paying Y20 for a seven person dorm and I probably make lots of noise at night before I sleep!

I walk around looking for suitable food – I feel like eating macaroni… what my mum always made me when I was ill when I was younger (that and congee). I find a sort of fast food restaurant Chinese stylie, and order me some fried fish. It’s the most fish I have ever eaten on my own! I paid Y22 and seven six inch fishes turn up! In the end, it was just a pile of bones! I am pleased with myself!

The rest of the day is pretty shit and not really worth commenting about, but I will;

• Go to library and read a book
• Go to internet cafe
• Eat
• Internet cafe
• Sleep!

Funny thing though; I ask the reception girl if I can have a bottle of water in Chinese. She says “in English”. I’m like “what?” “Say it in English”. So I say “Can I have some water, please?” making sure to pronounce everything! She says she likes the English accent! I think I’m in! Everyone loves the British accent! Though I doubt she would have enjoyed it as much if I said it in my Watford accent! “Wor-ah!”

Miles walked: 103.763m
Steps taken: 65,030

Day 15 - October 19th

Wake up and go for a massage with Anna. Just what I needed, though I am still ill and getting worse. Anna gives me a lot of advice on travelling alone and she tells me that it looks like I had hit traveller rock bottom (with my illness) but I still had a smile on my face. This made me feel better about myself already. I go to the pharmacy to get me more drugs. I am so glad that we had the ‘going to the doctors’ lesson at BLCU (Beijing Language Cultural University).

Say good bye to Anna, she was on her way to Korea to find a job. I’ve still not hung out with anyone for more than a day! Starting to get to me a bit! I hang out at the hostel for a bit and then decide that I want to go see the sea. It’s always nice to sit and chill and watch the sea.

I find some street food boiled stylie. Basically there’s a table in the middle of the road and a pot in the middle with fish balls and different types of sea foodage! I eat five skewers and only pay Y2.5! Bargain! I go to the internet cafe for a few hours and then come out and eat at the street food place again! The lady recognised me! I want to get some fried fish, but all the fish vendors had closed.

Go back to the hostel and have a spag bog and watch Night at the Museum. A big crowd of Chinese guys gather to watch the film. I’m the only person to laugh at the subtle English jokes… feel a bit of a plonk! It was like when I watched that Hugh Grant film in the cinema and I was the only one laughing at the music based jokes... on my own!

Not much to write when I am sitting about recovering from illness!

Miles walked: 100.343m
Steps taken: 55,454

Day 14 - October 18th

Sleep in today as I’m feeling pretty ill and I thought I would take Greg’s advice and just be as lazy as possible! I finally haul myself up and shower. I ask the reception girl if I can get my laundry done anywhere near by. I had asked her last night and she said I could do it myself at the hostel. Fuck that am I going to scrub my own clothes and hang them out to dry! She directs me down the road and round the corner to a dry cleaner’s. Turns out to be Y10 a piece!!! I decide to do my undies myself and gave the lady all my over garments. I have to haggle off the time she can get it done for me… how strange!

I go back to the hostel and find Greg. We go and have breakfast together. I don’t think he was overly impressed with my choice of hole in the wall restaurant! To be fair it was a little manky! I then go to an internet cafe for four hours! Longest I’ve spent… manage to upload a lot of pix though!

I then buy some soap and prep myself to clean my own undies! I go back to the hostel and decide I’ll go explore what facilities they had… I find a washing machine… and a tumble drier!!! GAYNESS!!! I just spent Y66 on dry cleaning and Y2 on a bar of soap! The machines cost Y8 each and when I was using the tumble drier, for some reason it worked without me putting money in!

I decide to sit in the common area and play guitar to chill out. All is well until the owner comes in and tells the bar staff to put on some music. This I do not take kindly to! So I play louder and sing a few songs! After twenty minutes, the bar man comes over and gives me a beer. It was from the owner! I think I made my point! I’m feeling very petty today!!!

I finish my washing and decide to go for a walk and explore the surroundings. I do a big loop around and walk down the high street. It definitely seems more European, especially the high street. Just like back home. I think to myself, if I was home right now, the Christmas trees would be out! I see kids playing on the street; they are jumping up and then off steps. One of the kids accidentally kicks the other one mid jump and he lands on his face! It looked painful! He cried! I eat at the same restaurant as last night. Wish I wasn’t ill and I could eat all the yummy grilled seafood! It looks sooo nice!

I head back to the hostel and watch Die Hard 4. It was wicked! Scottish girl called Anna arrives. She seems pretty nice! We watch Pan’s Labyrinth until the last ten minutes where the disc is too scratched! Pretty annoying… dodgy Chinese DVDs!

I had asked for a cup of tea whilst watching the film and when everyone had left and I was on the internet, the barman tells me that the tea was Y5! Tea!!! In China!!! Y5!!! I am fuming… so I turn off the computer when I finished just to spite him! I’m feeling REALLY petty today!!!

Miles walked: 94.312m
Steps taken: 39,982

Day 13 - October 17th

I check out and go to Zoucheng (Mencius’ hometown). We drive past a street full of shops selling cannons and artillery pieces! Sat next to a really cute Chinese baby – she was being taught numbers! I’ve got to say, anyone out there who wants a cute Chinese baby… I am willing to spread my seed!

I get a motor cab from the bus station to the Mencius Temple. Lonely Planet suggests it’s a Y10 ride, I get it for Y5, but the more I think about it, I could have got it for even cheaper! A thought comes to my head; I’ve never seen a Chinese person blow their nose before! Is that why they always spit? I think more research is needed on this matter!

I start to feel really ill so get bus back to Qufu. A beggar at the bus station starts to really annoy me. I tell him I have nothing to give him and he gets annoyed with me. I mean, I’m not a mean person and maybe he got down on his luck, but him getting annoyed at me for not giving him any money is just stupid. He’s lost all pride in himself.

The bus journey to Qingdao was pretty crazy! The driver was just weaving in and out of traffic like a madman! A few near misses! Hold a pee in for a good hour and half… almost wet myself!

Once in Qingdao, I jump in a cab. Turns out the bus dropped me off in the suburbs and the hostel I want is in the city! The taxi man is very talkative. I miss most the things he says, but he seems very proud of his city and seems well travelled (Korea, Hong Kong twice) which begs me to think, how could he afford it as a humble taxi driver? Turns out he used to work in garments in Guangzhou!

Arrive in the hostel, turns out to be Y20 a night! The cheapest I have had so far in China! I meet an American guy called Greg in my room. He seems alright, but also speaks me ear off! It’s all good though, the first English convocation I had with some one face to face in ages! I think it was the same for him!

I have some freshly made noodles in a hole in the wall restaurant. Was so nice that I have a second bowl! Fat bastard!!! Play guitar in the common area… first time I’ve touched a guitar in a few weeks. They turn on the music which annoys me so I move out to the foyer and serenade the reception lady! She is nice to me from now on!

I return to my room to sleep but an American Hong Kong lady talks at me even though I tell her I am ill and need sleep! We get into an argument about Britain, she claiming that it fucked the Hong Kong people over and that they don’t let Hong Kongers into the country to work. She seems odd, doesn’t want to speak Cantonese even though I know it would have been easier for her! Odd lady! Funny… there are three stages of people in the room that night; me (young and about to start career), Greg (mid life crisis and looking to do something totally different with life) and the Old Lady (old and retired and seeing the world with her spare time)!

Miles walked: 90.559m
Steps taken: 30,432

Day 12 - October 16th

Bitten by mozzys last night on the eyebrow!!! Who bites the bloody eyebrow! This makes me angry all night and I try and find the culprit! I find lots of mozzy splats all over the walls in the room!

Wake up still ill! I think about how I want to spend the day. My original plan was to see all the attractions in Qufu and leave for Qingdao tonight. On second thoughts, I feel I need to rest and take it easy so I haggle my second nights stay at this hotel for Y50! I then get a rickshaw driver to take me to all the sights for Y20 for the day! He even took me to get breakfast and medicine for my cold!

First stop is the Confucius museum, where I get a free guided tour! The girl who gave me the tour got sooo annoyed as my Chinese was poor and I had to stop her every so often to ask her what she meant! She got really frustrated! It was hard work for both of us! Apparently she is a descendant of Confucius and was training to be a vet!

On the way to the next stop, I spy a music shop so I jump out the rickshaw and go in. I buy a harmonica, but they didn’t have any small travel size guitars! Just as I was beginning to like this place, the rickshaw driver takes me to this tackiest shittiest waxworks! They precede to rape me several places… entry, incense sticks and gay hand wash which they said was from blessed water. I should have known better, but I was caught unaware! Spend Y56 in there for stuff I really didn’t care about! I tell them I am disgusted with their behaviour and they seem to be a bit embarrassed and I tell the driver never to take me to a place like that again! He is also embarrassed! We then go past a youth hostel! The taxi driver from yesterday said there wasn’t any in town!!! I am pretty pissed off at that point!

I am then followed by a lady on a bike who insists that she gives me a tour of Konglin (the burial ground of Confucius and his descendants). She starts at Y20 but I tell her I am not interested, then she drops to Y10 and I tell her it’s not about the money, I’m just pissed off and tired from the last guided tour! She follows me all the way into the cemetery and starts chatting to me. I get into the grounds and she offers to lend me her bike for Y5 as the grounds are pretty big. I go for it! And I take her offer on the tour as courtesy! I have a great time on the bike riding around the cemetery! Other people take the motor cart thingies which cost Y10 and are just ushered around! Suckers! The lady says it should take me 20mins to ride around… I take my sweet time and end up going for 35mins!

I return to the starting point where she gives me a tour of the main Confucius’ tomb. I take this opportunity to ask her as many questions as possible and make her write things down for me… get my moneys worth! I get jipped again at his tomb where I pay my respects but pay for some flowers! She is confused why I am so stingy so I tell her about my intended three months travels and how everyone is ripping me off. She relates to me and then as she begins to understand my predicament, a lady comes up to me and starts telling my fortune. I try to run away, but I feel bad so I ask my tour lady if it’s okay to do this. She says go ahead. Now, I’m no expert in palm reading, but I know some of the stuff she was saying, I could have made up myself too! She says I am single minded and independent, not relying on my friends or family to get what I want (good guess for someone who is travelling on their own!) She said something about my 68^th birthday where I will get a gift from my son (haha) and I had to do something with that gift or I will have a premature death, otherwise, I will live for a long time (the split in my life line supposedly)! Also, I will not be rich this lifetime, but my kids will be rich from my work! Also there are two/three women in my life but I must only choose one of them. Thanks for the insightfulness! I didn’t know I was only allowed to marry one person at a time! She then asks for some money, even though at first she said she wasn’t in it for the money! I’m very reluctant, so give her Y3 (3 is a good number in Confucianism)! She is not happy! My guide tries to explain my money situation. We end up at Y6. I am not pleased and tell my guide. She now relates to me more! She then spills the beans and tells me a lot of the inside secrets and tells me never to tell anyone that she told me. I am paying far too much for things and need to be a bit more stubborn and have a goal when I arrive in towns for the first time. She turns out to be really nice and she says that she has a son of her own who is eleven. I think I play the poor ignorant son card very well!

I have a pot noodle special for lunch. The special bit is the sausages I get for it!

I visit the Confucius Temple and the Confucius Mansions. This is when I realise that if I waited, then all the Chinese tours would just go away! I started to flake out a bit so chilled out in the Gardens of the Confucius Mansions. It smelt of farm! Languages started to blur for me now as I started to hear Cantonese everywhere and talking in Chinese for so long has started to really get to me! I swear the Tannoys in shops were speaking in Cantonese, but that would make no sense at all in the north of China!

Have dinner at the same restaurant/tent I ate at last night. I tell them that I am a little ill so they tell me I should have some fish soup and they give me ginger water (no, not orange water!). Bernice (old class mate from Beijing) was actually saying the other day that chewing on ginger helps the immune system! The food seemed cheaper today… I think I must have befriended them! I have liver for dinner… it was actually really nice! I leave and the couple who own the restaurant/tent tell me to get more rest and take medicine!

I watch my favourite TV add so far. It shows a factory worker and tells of the bad conditions people are working in. Then it compares the conditions as like that of a fish swimming in dirty water! It then cuts to a picture of somebody’s lungs all black and minging from inhaling dirt and dust. Cut to fish dying and floating up to the top of the fish bowl (my fav. bit!). It then has people dressed in industrial protective gear and they all have smiling faces! The fish is now happy… I swear it must be smiling too! The ad was brought to you by Shandong Provincial Government!

Watch the replay of the England match and sleep.

Miles walked: 84.886m
Steps taken: 15,996 steps

Day 11 - October 15th

3am wake-up call!!! Didn’t get that much sleep last night. The boys were snoring, I was really cold and there was a mozzy buzzing around. I don’t know how mozzys survive in this cold. If I was them, I wouldn’t bother coming up here to feast!

We climbed the rest of the way up to the peak of the mountain. It was really cold and we did it in the pitch black. It took another three hours hike up some real steep steps. Saw the sunrise… it was beautiful!

I dunno why, but there’s something about cute Chinese girls in big army jackets! And as usual, they’re with their douchebag boyfriends! I catch a cold on the peak as I sweated so much on the way up and I don’t think the Bai Jui (rice wine) we had last night helped at all!

I treat the boys to more slurp at the peak even though they thought it was a bit too expensive up there… I was hungry! Coming down was harder then going up. Though physically it wasn’t as demanding, I really had to concentrate on my footing as my boots were too big for the steps! We walk to the midway point again and decide to take the bus down as we were all knackered. I leave Tai Shan a little Shan (mountain) of my own in the toilet! Maybe that’s why I’m ill! I have angered the gods with my poo!

Arrive in town and then leave the boys as they want to stay in Tai'an for another day whilst I want to go to Qufu (hometown of Confucius). We decide to meet again in Qingdao in a few days. The bus to Qufu was playing the same film as from Luoyang. Something about the Japanese and guns… I don’t get it!

I arrive in Qufu around midday. It looks like a real old town and the walls are still intact around it! I can’t see a single tower block. I’m guessing that would interfere with the feng shui (apparently the train station was built a few miles away from the town for the same reason). The cab driver takes me to a hotel (one that I didn’t ask to be taken to) but I was too tired and ill to argue. I haggle the room from Y120 to Y70 a night, not bad I think! I have a shower and then chat to Lisa on the phone. The first time I’ve spoken English in 3 days! I sleep for an hour!

In my wanderings around the town, I don’t know how I understand the people. I ask them a question, but then they talk at me words I just don’t know (must be Shandong dialect or really accented) but I seem to know what they are on about! I really like the look of this place, very peaceful for China! I spend the rest of the day on an internet bar and still not manage to get all my first days pix online!

Eat at the food market. I think this is the nicest place I’ve been so far… maybe it’s the drugs talking! But all the trees had fairy lights on and it looked like Christmas! I retire to my room around 8pm. Watch Bewitched in Chinese… did the trick for putting me to sleep!

Miles walked: 76.155m
Steps taken: 93,779

Day 10 - October 14th

Not a great night’s sleep. I kept on being woken up by knocks on the door and phone calls asking if I needed any ‘special services’. By the time it was midnight I get pissed off and tell the lady on the phone to fuck off! Dodgy dodgy dodgy!!!

I wake up in a windowless room. First time I’ve ever slept in a windowless room. It’s strange because you just don’t know what time it is. It’s just dark! I also have to let you all in on a secret. I’m afraid of the dark so whenever I stay in a hotel on my own, I will always leave the TV on. My TV was turned off this morning and I don’t remember waking up to turn it off (it would have been a mission as the remote didn’t work so I would have had to get off my arse).

I go to a book store to pick up a few reads for my journey. The selection in the biggest book store in town was pretty lame. Just kids reading books or business ones! I take a two hour bus journey to Tai'an, the town at the foot of Tai Shan (the most sacred Taoist mountain in China). They show a Bollywood MTV on the journey.

I’m greeted in Tai'an by a taxi driver who almost convinces me to stay a night in a hotel in town and climb tomorrow morning. He argues that it will cost a lot tonight (weekend) and that there will be many people on the way up. He almost had me, but I was sticking with my guns. He still seemed awfully nice and I gave him a nice big smile and wave when I drove past him on a motor taxi! He wouldn’t take me to the place I wanted to go even though I requested he take me!

I decide to leave my backpack at the bus station and then do the traditional route for climbing Tai Shan. This started off at a temple at the foot of the mountain called Dai Temple where I brought some incense for my journey up. I wanted to retrace the steps of the old emperors and leave offerings at every temple I pass on the way to the top. I buy a ticket for the first temple and I give the lady in the ticket booth a big smile. Her face changes and she has an even bigger smile back! I doubt she has had anyone smile at her in a long time.

At the foot of the mountain I also meet two Chinese students. They turn out to be the soundest people I have met. They were so hospitable and offered me everything they had like a friend. I am so pleased to have met them on the journey up the mountain! We walk four hours up to the midway point where they negotiate a stay in a room for Y100 between the three of us. I was probably going to go to a hotel for Y200 upwards! The original plan was that we sleep outside… okay for me, as I had a sleeping bag, but I don’t know how they would have survived! I decide to buy them some Tai Shan baijiu (rice wine) for us to drink. First impression… not bad! Second shot… hmm?!?! Third shot… get that shit away from me! I end up having to leave the bottle outside out room as even the smell of it made me welch!

We head to sleep around 9pm. I forget my toothbrush!

Miles walked: 66.446m
Steps taken: 69,076

Day 9 - October 13th

5.30am wake up for my train to Jinan! Took a taxi to the station which cost me Y8, same journey took me Y5 the day before… apparently the night fare is different!

It was one of the worst train journeys of my life. The train was full of… I’m going to say it, filthy people! There was no seats when I got on so I had to sit on my backpack in the hall way. I should have asked for a bunk! A fight nearly breaks out near me an hour into the journey! I didn’t really understand what was going on, but I think I heard cursing of each others provinces! The police on board the train manage to stop the fight!

Half way through the train journey there is a mass exodus of people from the train, so I get a seat for the last four hours. Every so often I ask some one what stop we are at. I can’t figure out what they are saying but I hear the town Suzhou at least two times for different stops!!! I finish my book. Lots of thoughts enter my mind. I look around and see all the dirty people with dirt on their hands. In contrast, I have ink from my leaky pen! I listen to my iPod and whack on some Black Eyed Peas. Probably one of the oddest mix with the dirtyness around me. Yep, I have mentioned the word dirty and dirt a lot in these two paragraphs. All I can think about is how dirty everything is!!! Why do some people just look unclean? My iPod dies and I still have 3 hours to go!

Chinese comedy is blaring out the train Tannoy system. It’s not bad. A little like the Two Ronnies! A lady tries to make convocation with me. I can’t be bothered! I watch an old man with a can of spam. He is dumbfounded by the key contraption used to open the can. He spends a good ten minutes… it was great watching him! He finally gives up and eats an egg instead! I look at my boots. They are dirty! Even from the rain yesterday. Normally, the rain will wash my boots as I step in puddles back in the UK, but here, they have got even dirtier! A highlight of the journey was the saleslady on the train selling batteryless torches. It works on a sort of press/lever system which powers it up. Apparently pressing the lever for one minute giver you two hours of power! I buy one for Y10!

There is an announcement over the Tannoy. “Is there a doctor on board the train? A child is sick in train carriage number six”. I see a moth on the train and wonder where it must have got on board from. It must be far from its mates! Karl Pilkington… you are a genius! We go past Taishan (my next destination)… it is huge!!! Bloody massive thing. Then a girl sitting next to me vomits into a pot noodle box.

You can tell that I had fun on this seven hour hard seat journey... I slowly went insane! Mental note: no more hard seat long journeys… buses are the way forward!

I arrive in Jinan and a lady ushers me into a taxi. There are already two people on board. I’m just fed up and ask her to take me to my hotel. She takes me to another one which turns out to be cheaper. She scams me off of Y20 for a distance I find out I could have walked. The bitch leaves me her number to take me around the area. Like fuck I am going to call her up! I chill the rest of the day and use the internet. The sun comes out… first time I’ve see the sun since I arrived up north!!!

Miles walked: 58.425m
Steps taken: 48,665

Day 8 - October 12th

Worse wake-up ever!!! People slamming doors and cacking outside. The horrid cacking, clearing throat sound that the Chinese all seem to do! I go and have breakfast… disgusting slurp and preserved shit! I eat a few of the plain buns and an egg. That reminded me of my cat Chairman Mao who likes to eat eggs. Strange! I then go to find some place to wash my clothes. Turns out it was going to cost Y100 because they measure it in the pieces of clothing rather than weight and I had a lot of underwear! I walk away… it’s going to be a bad day.

On the way back to my room I bump into an American guy called Owen. I ask him if he knew of anywhere to get clothes washed. He seems in a happy mood as he has just got his done at the same place and thought it a bargain! I decide to get my clothes washed for Y100. To top it off, it was drizzling outside which continued all day!

On my way out, I bump into Owen again and we spend the rest of the day together seeing the sights in Kaifeng. We see a lot that day as we hop from destination to destination via rickshaws. We visit the Temple of the Chief Minister, Shaanshangan Guildhall, Longting Park (old palace) and Tieta Park to see the Iron Pagoda. The pagoda is claimed to be the best (number one) in China! It is pretty cool and we climb to the top to find a group of men stinking of booze and giggling! Why didn’t I think of that? There is also this strange system in Kaifeng where if you tell the people of the ticket offices that the rickshaw people took you there, they get Y2 for food money! Pretty cool system I think! Everyone’s a winner!

Owen turns out to be a pretty sound guy and was working/studying in Hong Kong for the last year and really got into the local music scene there, something which I didn’t manage to do! I guess the Americans who usually leave the country are always the sounder ones!

We then decide to go to the Sacred Heart of Jesus Church. Looks like a Catholic style church.. Seeming that we had done two of the worlds major religions we decide why stop now? We walk half a block to see a well which is what remains of the old synagogue (Kaifeng used to have a large Jewish population). It is situated in the boiler room of the number four People’s Hospital. Walking through the hospital was one of the most messed up things I’ve done in a while! We walk past a room where it seems a patient (Owen informed me later that it was a lady) who just looked grim and had a sort of stand and cloth looped around her jaw, keeping her head up. I really don’t know what the hell it was but I walked away as fast as possible! Messed up! Owen decides to go back for a second look! We walk into the boiler and find a well… not much to it!

We then walk to Dongda Mosque via the Muslim quarter. Not as nice as the mosque I saw in Xi'an but had the same hallmarks… looks just like a Chinese temple! So four major religions in a day! Can’t do that in many cities, I tell you!

We then walk past a shop which has a load of kegs in the window. We stop in to have a few bevys! German beer… expensive, but you have to treat yourself sometimes! I also find the nicest smelling portaloo I have ever had the pleasure to use!

Have dinner in the night market. We sit down and order our food and then a lady with a guitar and a mic sits down on the table next to ours. We decide to invite her over and Owen asks her to play a few songs that he has on his iPod. No luck… too contemporary! So we ask her to play her favourite song and then I also play a song. I rock! I then ask her to play ‘The Moon Represents My Heart’ a classic Chinese song which I really like. No one else in the street agrees with me… too cliché maybe!

Owen suggests that I should record and play some Chinese folk songs and package it in a way for western audiences. I tell him my time came and went long ago…

Miles walked: 54.355m
Steps taken: 38,310

Day 7 - October 11th

Upset stomach still today. I think it may be all the greasy food I’m eating. I decide to go to the White Horse Temple, the first Buddhist temple on Chinese soil. The bus journey was long and my mind wondered. I thought about things like, if ever you needed to go for a poo, you can eat two apples and that usually does the trick! I haven’t done that since I was a kid, so maybe that’s not true any more? For some reason I also thought back to the time when I playing for KCC in the tournament in China and there was an upside down face man. The best upside down face man I have ever seen! I also remember my old statistics teacher, Mr. Jones also having a pretty good upside down face!

I went to the temple and helped some whities (European) burn incense. They were burning them one by one so I told them that they should do it in threes. I also bumped into the guys from Gansu again! Didn’t know what to say really! My Chinese small talk sucks!!! There are many giant spider webs in this temple but I can’t seem to get a good picture of it. I walk to a pagoda in a different part of the grounds and walk past a building where monks were knocking on their wood blocks and praying. Was pretty cool.

Another thought came to me whilst I was walking in the temple grounds. It’s more a thought from Gary actually! There are sooo many fit Chinese girls walking about and they’re always, always attached to a dooch bag boyfriend! Gary was right! They all look pretty good looking and have boyfriends who just look like complete tools!

I return to the hostel after taking a wrong bus (should have taken no.56, not 58) and check out. I walk to the bus station with all my gear and look at the sex shops again. There are actually brothels in between them. Still doesn’t explain why someone needs a blow-up doll in the morning!!! And surely business for the sex shops would be pretty crap considering you can get sex just next door?

I take the bus to Kaifeng. They show Twins Mission on the bus. Only four people on this bus… I think buses are the way forward! I see fireworks outside. The most bizarre music video was shown after the movie was finished. There was some woman singing an old Chinese folk song. The videos backdrop is Tibet with all these Tibetan people running around being happy and a fat woman (the singer) in what I can describe as a Jimmy Saville-esque track suit. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the video goes on and the Tibetan people start greeting the Han (Chinese) railway workers and they’re all smiling and happy and loving the Chinese. Good propaganda I would say!!!

I arrive in Keifeng and it’s pissing it down. The first things I see is a little shop with pink light and then loads of homeless people sleeping outside a department store. I make my way to the hotel suggested by the Lonely Planet. It is DIRTY!!! Minging as hell!!! I change my room once as the windows didn’t seem to lock, so they moved me to a room where the window had a metal grill around it.

I decide to go eat and treat myself to Chinese-style steak. I’ve only been gone a week and I’m starting to ‘treat’ myself! I find myself scoffing the food down, not eating, but scoffing! Though I passed on the bowl of fruit with ketchup in! The restaurant was playing songs which I learnt in singing class in Beijing Language and Cultural University!!! Didn’t stay in that class for long… no, it wasn’t ‘cos I was rubbish! There wasn’t enough people in the class… yes, I did scare them away!

I decide to go look for an Internet bar… I walk for ages and find nothing!!! No internet bar??? In China? The fuck am I? I decide to walk back to my hotel when I get to this local bar and there are three people standing around in the car park “chatting”.

Retire to my room and turn on the TV. Watch the most degrading thing ever… no, not animal porn! It was on the kids channel… basically it was a game show where there are five kids. One of the rounds had this American guy who was supposed to be the ‘boss’. He then orders each of the kids in turn to do his bidding as all good Americans should order their Chinese lackies! It was a disgrace. He’s done his country no favours by just publicly humiliating the kids and treating them like servants! I would be so embarrassed by this man's behaviour if I was from the States!

Miles walked: 43.498m
Steps taken: 10,682

Day 6 - October 10th

I had trouble sleeping last night… must be the dodgy kebab I had for dinner yesterday! A group of lads from Leeds also turned up last night.

Cold this morning, so I go and have breakfast. This consisted of slurp and greasy cake (congee and some sort of pancakey thingy!!!) which I didn’t finish! The cake was alright though, so I brought an extra one on the go. I walk past the sex shops again… it’s 7 in the morning, who in the world needs a blow up doll or a dildo at that time??? I walk to the bus station and the attendants ask where I am from. I tell them I am from Hong Kong. They call me ‘tong bao’ which means we share a womb (the womb being China) and I manage to get on a mini bus which cost me only Y6.5. The Lonely Planet suggests Y20 for the bus ticket! Sweet!!!

The mini bus journey takes me through all these villages (no wonder why it was Y6.5) and to my horror, people on the bus start smoking. Mainlanders aye? We go past a village called Lau Village.

I get to Shaolin Temple and pay the entrance and find out Chinese guides are only Y50! English guides are Y200, so I decide to go for it, learn about the place and practice my Chinese on the way… worth Y50 I think! She was actually very useful and informative and told me loads of odd facts which I would never have found out. Like how all the pagodas in the Pagoda Forest odd numbered levels as a monk has to be celibate, therefore cannot be in twos (evens). Also, all the pagodas were facing the mountains apart from one, the smallest one which is in honour of a child monk who was very good at kung fu and his pagoda faces Shoalin Temple to protect it!

Although I do get sort of scammed! I go to burn incense and make three wishes (yes… a bit like a genie!) and the monk asks for a donation as he oversees the ritual. Shit… no change. Only hundreds! Oh well, I suppose it’s good to be pious once in a while! Afterwards I ask the guide if Y100 was a lot. She said no! But then she asked me how much the pound was compared to the Yuan. I tell her and I tell her that I’m sort of on a budget, travelling for three months and all! She tells me that next time, maybe I could give a little less. A few kuai would be enough!

After the temple, I decide to have luncheon… a pot noodle! I then take on the mountain. I start walking in the general I direction indicated by the Lonely Planet, but I start to lose heart. But then a group of monks approach and I ask them which way. They decide to help me on my quest (proper kung fu stylie!). I really didn’t know how to make conversation with monks. What do I say? Phwoooar, look the rack on her? So you fancy a drink lads? They were sooo charitable! We stopped at a store and they brought me some water and biscuits. Our paths then diverged as they were heading to their temple and I was heading up the mountain. They point me in the right direction and I start my ascent. After about an hour, I reach a path way and see more tourists. They had come up the cable car. I then look around and head even higher until the path sort of ends and there was a sign in Chinese. I didn’t understand it all, but I could see two characters which meant tourist. I decide to ignore the sign and carry on climbing, at this point sometimes on my hands and knees! I finally get to a peak and peer over to see a cliff edge. I have gone up the wrong mountain!!! There’s more mountain further on, but I can’t get to it as it was far too dangerous. Those monks! Sent me up the wrong mountain!!! Worse of all, it starts to rain and I have definitely not brought enough layers for this hike!

I then decide to come back down the mountain on the scariest cable car ride ever! Things got even worse. As I get off the cable car a man approaches and shows me pictures of the places I wanted to see today and said he would take me there for Y5. So I jump on, only to find he drives me to the exact spot that I met monks. I couldn’t be bothered to walk on as I was cold and wet so I make him take me back. I give him his money and told him sarcastically in front of his friends ‘I hope your business goes well’ they laugh at him! Next I get fleeced again! I decide there are a few more places in the Lonely Planet which is near by which I can see. I ask directions and the tour assistant shows me to this booth to buy tickets to these attractions. So I buy tickets to two things. I get on the bus and then the driver explains to me, you’re not going to get a chance to see both, it’s too late in the day! Pretty gay! I get talking to two guys on the bus from Gansu and I go to see one of the attractions. The… library; it was shit!

I then manage to get to Dengfeng (the nearest town) to try and get a bus back to Luoyang. It was pretty hard finding a cab. I chat to the cab driver and he asks me what language they speak in Hong Kong? I’m amazed!

I go home cold and tired!

Miles walked: 37.489m
Steps taken: 95,392

Day 5 - October 9th

Rough night last night. The Singaporean old guy was snoring all night. Some how I managed to sleep straight away, but when I woke at 4am I just couldn’t get back to bed! I had to go get my ear plugs to shut out the noise!!! It was a sort of two-tier snore - the first part was heavy breathing, but at the peak of his breath, it was like all the flappy skin inside his nose was vibrating!

I braved the communal showers and didn’t manage to get raped or anything… phew! Then I had breakfast with Sam who was really surprised how cheap you can get food for in China. We went to a scummier looking restaurant then she usually does, which doesn’t have an English menu. Pays to be in the know ;)

Even with all the savings and food, I couldn’t convince her to stick around and go to the Shaolin Temple and go to Kaifeng together! So I walk her to the station and we walk past sooo many sex shops!!! The whole street opposite the station was full of them! How strange!

I got on the bus to go to see Guanlin Temple and the Longmen Grottoes where a man sits next to me and decides to start a conversation. He catches on that I’m not Chinese-Chinese and we just chat about stuff. It’s a shame, but I wish I had videoed it, but I played my first Chinese ‘what’s in the bag???’!!! It turns out he owned a fruit cart and had just picked up some fruit from the market and was taking it back to his wife to sell. So he had fruit in the bag!!! Wouldn’t have guessed that! Then I did one of the most dangerous things ever! I told him I was going to Guanlin Temple and he tells me that I’m actually on the wrong bus, I should take the no.55. We chat for a bit more where he decides to see if I know much Chinese and shows me his ID with his address for me to read. He also tells me how he has a kid who is in a Wusu school next to Shaolin Temple! He is about to get off the bus and then I ask him, would it be easier for me to get to Guanlin Temple if I jump off here and get a cab? He says yes, so I jump off with him. He then tells me that he will take me there as it is near by and it was his day off work after he drops off his bag. So he makes a call and his wife comes peddling along on her bike/shop. He then takes me across the road and says, oh, you can buy clothes over here if you want. I’m like, errr, no, I’m okay, can we go to the Temple now? So we jump into the nearest motor taxi and drive to the temple. Then I think maybe it wasn’t the best idea to go off with a stranger who I met on the bus! My reckoning was that the guy showed me his ID and his address, no one would do that if they’re about to rape you! We drive past a church! I carry on chatting with him and he says to me that ‘your father is in a business, and so am I, but mine is a little smaller!’ which I found very humbling. In the end we arrive at the Temple and HE pays the driver Y2. I buy my ticket and then I try to give him some money for his troubles. This was what I thought I should do. A man did a service for me, so I should repay him. He wouldn’t accept it and in fact I think I might have offended him! He says that he doesn’t want my money and that he has loads… which I did see he did! So I suppose the moral of the story is… sometimes there are random acts of kindness and that not everyone is after the foreigner’s money!

The Guanlin Temple was pretty cool. In the gardens of the grounds is an earth mound which is where the severed head of Guanlin is buried. I move on to Longmen Grottoes where I am in two minds whether to stay until dusk when the lights light up the Buddha. I decide to leave around 4pm as I get bored!

Early night tonight, going to climb a mountain tomorrow and hang out with the monks!!!

Miles walked: 27.822m
Steps taken: 70,795

Day 4 - October 8th

Decide to sleep in and have a late check out. I needed the sleep to catch up on the last few days. I eat at the hotel, a bowl of rice, some veg and two fried fish. It was a really good meal and only Y25 and I didn’t even finish it because there was sooo much fish! Not bad going I think for a hotel, though I did go in the restaurant and basically asked for the two cheapest dishes on the menu! They must have thought I was such a gypo!

I get to the bus station where I find cleaners putting sand on the floor and mopping it up. How very strange! I think I get over-charged on the bus, as I read in the Lonely Planet that it costs about Y20 whereas I pay Y40. Bus journey was really good though! First notable thing to mention is the Y2 porn DVD shop we drive by - shame that the bus doesn’t stop for you!!! We drive for about an hour out of the city. Big contrast! The first thing I think about is how different it was from the fields down in the south of China. I remember driving past a rice paddy on my way to Guangzhou airport and seeing lots and loads of green. The fields in Henan are pretty much empty. I suppose the harvest has just been collected a few weeks back. It seemed a barren place. Then I notice that what I thought were bags in the middle of fields were actually people with ploughs and such. There were loads of people, just in the field ploughing and digging. Now to me that seems so very, very strange. I mean, I never lived in the countryside or anything, but when ever I see such big expanses of fields, you would see maybe a tractor or two and a combine harvester to collect all the crops. In China, there’s just a bollock load of people with hand ploughs and a ton of elbow grease.

I arrive in Luoyang at 5pm. It seems even colder here and looks miserable. I book into my first hostel (Y40 a night), where at the counter the girls are squabbling. One’s complaining to the other to stop playing solitaire and do some work whilst she retorts back “do your job properly” when the girl serving me makes a mistake. Seems like a barrel of laughs here! I meet a girl called Sam who has been travelling China for the last two weeks and seems to have a very similar route planned as me. Shame she is leaving tomorrow morning and I plan to spend two days here. I walk into the toilets and to my horror… COMMUNAL SHOWERS!!! I’m relieved as I don’t have soap, but have shower gel!!!

I explore the surroundings and find a wet market down some back street. It was like walking back in time! Back with the salt of the earth! I also find a place which sells sunflower seeds. I tell the shop assistant that I want Y5 worth, she turns around and gives me the biggest fuck off bag of seeds. I wish Matt (Early) was here to finish it all! I have dinner in a side of the road restaurant. I order a portion of dumplings and I get a strange look. Turns out there are sixty dumplings in a portion! So I order half a portion for Y6!

I drink my first Luoyang beer and get started on my seeds! I’ve hardly made a dent after 2 hours!

Miles walked: 19.607m
Steps taken: 49,892

Day 3 - October 7th

We check out of the hotel and proceed to go to the safari. It was actually really good for Chinese standards. There were some pretty cool animals like snow tigers and my favourite, the lesser pandas. One of the enclosures had both lions and tigers together… how silly of me, of course, they hang out all the time in the wild! One of the great things about China is that you could get away with things like buying bananas and throwing them at elephants or buying some fish and chucking them at the seals! We chose not to go to the bear show… apparently they dress them up in human clothes and make them push prams around.

Get on a plane to Zhengzhou and arrive at around 11pm. Initial reaction; it’s a bit nips here. Then I think it really hit me when I looked out onto the concourse, “Why is everyone here wearing jumpers?” Oh dear!!! I looked pretty out of place in my shorts and t-shirt! I had a really pleasant taxi ride to the hotel I was staying in. I get chatting to driver and tell him my plans of travelling for three months. He is impressed, though warns me of the dangers. He tells me that I should call my parents as much as possible as they will be worried. I find out that he has a son just a year younger than me. He tells me that I seem like a friendly guy and won’t have any problems finding friends to travel with. Makes me feel good about myself. I call home that night. No answer!

Miles walked: 15.613m
Steps taken: 39,728

Day 2 - October 6th

Wake up bright and early to go see my Nan. It was a sorry sight. I don’t really want to talk too much about it, but let’s say that I don’t think there’s much of her left in that body. She was like an empty vessel. The date on her name tag said she was born in 1916, but my uncle says she is probably a few years older than that.

The plan for today was to meet my friend Gary who was heading up from HK and go to the safari in Guangzhou. He slept in and doesn’t arrive until 5pm. We get massages instead and then go on a cruise up the Pearl River. Go out to a bar and finish a bottle of whisky between us. The rest of the night becomes a haze, although I remember Gary getting on stage, and a man knocking over our drinks and coming back with a fruit platter and bowl of chips to show he is sorry!

Miles walked: 8.784m
Steps taken: 22,353

Day 1 - October 5th

So only had 3 hours sleep last night. A mixture of worrying, getting stuff ready and digesting the all-you-can-eat sushi and seafood! I meet my Uncle and we make the journey to the border crossing to Shenzhen. From Shenzhen my uncle decides to take me to a place called San Xuang, where I later find out that he owns properties for rent. It was a pretty odd two hour bus journey. I saw at least five car crashes, including one really bad one where it looked as though a truck carrying logs caught fire!!! I think this may be the most car crashes I’ve ever seen in one day!

We leave San Xuang at 2pm only to be caught in more traffic behind yet another car crash. I’m beginning to think that if I wanted to stay in traffic jams, I should have stayed in Hong Kong. My original plan for the day was to go visit my Nan at an old people’s home in Guangzhou, but we don’t arrive in town until 6pm. My uncle suggests it may be too late to go see her. I feel I have wasted the whole day and I could have stayed in Hong Kong for a few more hours’ kip. Fuming!!! We stay in my uncle’s holiday home in Guangzhou. I didn’t sleep well that night.

Miles walked: 2.223m
Steps taken: 5,657

10,000里 Journey Explanation

There’s a Chinese proverb, which basically goes like this;

“Read 10,000 scrolls; you might as well walk 10,000li.”

The meaning being, you can study and read as many books as you like, but nothing compares to life experiences. I have tried to take this literally, and am aiming to walk 10,000li. This equates to around 3,580 miles in 3 months. I am not sure if I can achieve this feat, but I’m going to give it a bloody damn good try!!! I have a pedometer on me that will count my steps as I go.

A 里(li) is a Chinese measurement for distance. 1里 = about 0.5km.

Prologue

So, I suppose I should start with a little introduction about myself. I was born in Middlesex Hospital, London and moved to a town called Watford when I was 1. I’ll skip the school days, but I attended the University of Southampton studying Music and Management Sciences. After graduating, I worked for a record label for a short time, but then decided that I wanted to go on an adventure. That adventure took me to Hong Kong where I lived the life as a guitar and English teacher/tutor. This meant that I could earn money and take as many holidays as I wanted!!! Which I took full advantage of, in the last 2 years, I have gone on about 7/8 holidays! I went to Beijing in Feb and spent 5months there studying. I came back to Hong Kong for a few months and made enough money for this journey!

I would like to say that Hong Kong has been really good to me. I have made a lot of good friends who I hope will be friends for life. I have met some really special people whom I hope will always be close to my heart. I know I will miss Hong Kong and it will be a very important chapter in my life! But as I was always told, 2 years is the max in Hong Kong. Any longer and you will be stuck there. Which is good, as I have spent 2 years and 10 days in this wonderful city!

So, what am I thinking now? I will be spending the next few months in China. I do have some fears about this journey. I’m taking a leap out of my comfort zone and doing something very, very brave I think. I don’t know how I’m going to stand all the people and all the rudeness and dirtiness. It’s a big contrast from the squeaky clean Hong Kong lifestyle. I’m dreading the squat toilets. One of my biggest fears in life is falling into one of those. I think if I ever do, I will dig a hole and bury myself in it!

I have a few hopes for this journey. I hope that this will help me find something which I have been looking for (no… not a Chinese wife :P). I hope that by surviving this adventure, it will make me a stronger person. I hope that I will carry on meeting people who are really interesting and from different worlds, not just the Chinese culture, which I am about to immerse myself into, but also different people on their own journeys. I hope that this will help me move on to another part of my life.

Don’t worry people, not all my entries will be so mushy! I hope that part of this blog will help introduce you to the Chinese culture and the quirks and funny customs they have. I will also be interviewing people and asking the hard hitting questions in life! I will also have my pedometer to measure the distances I have walked!

So to sign off this first instalment of my blog, I want to thank people. I want to thank KCC (Kowloon Cricket Club) for giving me a team and a chance to do something I really enjoy doing. I want to thank my boss’ James (Rebecca, Denis) from ALE, Anna from Color My World, Kathy from the scout hut and anyone else I have had the pleasure to work for in Hong Kong. I would like to thank Jane, my sister, who has put up with me for the last 2 years and all the shit I give her, all the problems I cause, all the money I have borrowed! Lisa, for being such a special person to me. Most importantly, I want to thank all my friends for just being friends. It means a lot! Also a special mention for Paul, who is going to be the editor of this Blog as I am not sure if I can access it when I am in China and he does a great job with all the techie stuff!

I will miss Hong Kong.

So, good night Hong Kong, good morning China. This is the start of the 10,000里 (li) journey…