Day 7 - October 11th

Upset stomach still today. I think it may be all the greasy food I’m eating. I decide to go to the White Horse Temple, the first Buddhist temple on Chinese soil. The bus journey was long and my mind wondered. I thought about things like, if ever you needed to go for a poo, you can eat two apples and that usually does the trick! I haven’t done that since I was a kid, so maybe that’s not true any more? For some reason I also thought back to the time when I playing for KCC in the tournament in China and there was an upside down face man. The best upside down face man I have ever seen! I also remember my old statistics teacher, Mr. Jones also having a pretty good upside down face!

I went to the temple and helped some whities (European) burn incense. They were burning them one by one so I told them that they should do it in threes. I also bumped into the guys from Gansu again! Didn’t know what to say really! My Chinese small talk sucks!!! There are many giant spider webs in this temple but I can’t seem to get a good picture of it. I walk to a pagoda in a different part of the grounds and walk past a building where monks were knocking on their wood blocks and praying. Was pretty cool.

Another thought came to me whilst I was walking in the temple grounds. It’s more a thought from Gary actually! There are sooo many fit Chinese girls walking about and they’re always, always attached to a dooch bag boyfriend! Gary was right! They all look pretty good looking and have boyfriends who just look like complete tools!

I return to the hostel after taking a wrong bus (should have taken no.56, not 58) and check out. I walk to the bus station with all my gear and look at the sex shops again. There are actually brothels in between them. Still doesn’t explain why someone needs a blow-up doll in the morning!!! And surely business for the sex shops would be pretty crap considering you can get sex just next door?

I take the bus to Kaifeng. They show Twins Mission on the bus. Only four people on this bus… I think buses are the way forward! I see fireworks outside. The most bizarre music video was shown after the movie was finished. There was some woman singing an old Chinese folk song. The videos backdrop is Tibet with all these Tibetan people running around being happy and a fat woman (the singer) in what I can describe as a Jimmy Saville-esque track suit. As if that wasn’t bad enough, the video goes on and the Tibetan people start greeting the Han (Chinese) railway workers and they’re all smiling and happy and loving the Chinese. Good propaganda I would say!!!

I arrive in Keifeng and it’s pissing it down. The first things I see is a little shop with pink light and then loads of homeless people sleeping outside a department store. I make my way to the hotel suggested by the Lonely Planet. It is DIRTY!!! Minging as hell!!! I change my room once as the windows didn’t seem to lock, so they moved me to a room where the window had a metal grill around it.

I decide to go eat and treat myself to Chinese-style steak. I’ve only been gone a week and I’m starting to ‘treat’ myself! I find myself scoffing the food down, not eating, but scoffing! Though I passed on the bowl of fruit with ketchup in! The restaurant was playing songs which I learnt in singing class in Beijing Language and Cultural University!!! Didn’t stay in that class for long… no, it wasn’t ‘cos I was rubbish! There wasn’t enough people in the class… yes, I did scare them away!

I decide to go look for an Internet bar… I walk for ages and find nothing!!! No internet bar??? In China? The fuck am I? I decide to walk back to my hotel when I get to this local bar and there are three people standing around in the car park “chatting”.

Retire to my room and turn on the TV. Watch the most degrading thing ever… no, not animal porn! It was on the kids channel… basically it was a game show where there are five kids. One of the rounds had this American guy who was supposed to be the ‘boss’. He then orders each of the kids in turn to do his bidding as all good Americans should order their Chinese lackies! It was a disgrace. He’s done his country no favours by just publicly humiliating the kids and treating them like servants! I would be so embarrassed by this man's behaviour if I was from the States!

Miles walked: 43.498m
Steps taken: 10,682

Day 6 - October 10th

I had trouble sleeping last night… must be the dodgy kebab I had for dinner yesterday! A group of lads from Leeds also turned up last night.

Cold this morning, so I go and have breakfast. This consisted of slurp and greasy cake (congee and some sort of pancakey thingy!!!) which I didn’t finish! The cake was alright though, so I brought an extra one on the go. I walk past the sex shops again… it’s 7 in the morning, who in the world needs a blow up doll or a dildo at that time??? I walk to the bus station and the attendants ask where I am from. I tell them I am from Hong Kong. They call me ‘tong bao’ which means we share a womb (the womb being China) and I manage to get on a mini bus which cost me only Y6.5. The Lonely Planet suggests Y20 for the bus ticket! Sweet!!!

The mini bus journey takes me through all these villages (no wonder why it was Y6.5) and to my horror, people on the bus start smoking. Mainlanders aye? We go past a village called Lau Village.

I get to Shaolin Temple and pay the entrance and find out Chinese guides are only Y50! English guides are Y200, so I decide to go for it, learn about the place and practice my Chinese on the way… worth Y50 I think! She was actually very useful and informative and told me loads of odd facts which I would never have found out. Like how all the pagodas in the Pagoda Forest odd numbered levels as a monk has to be celibate, therefore cannot be in twos (evens). Also, all the pagodas were facing the mountains apart from one, the smallest one which is in honour of a child monk who was very good at kung fu and his pagoda faces Shoalin Temple to protect it!

Although I do get sort of scammed! I go to burn incense and make three wishes (yes… a bit like a genie!) and the monk asks for a donation as he oversees the ritual. Shit… no change. Only hundreds! Oh well, I suppose it’s good to be pious once in a while! Afterwards I ask the guide if Y100 was a lot. She said no! But then she asked me how much the pound was compared to the Yuan. I tell her and I tell her that I’m sort of on a budget, travelling for three months and all! She tells me that next time, maybe I could give a little less. A few kuai would be enough!

After the temple, I decide to have luncheon… a pot noodle! I then take on the mountain. I start walking in the general I direction indicated by the Lonely Planet, but I start to lose heart. But then a group of monks approach and I ask them which way. They decide to help me on my quest (proper kung fu stylie!). I really didn’t know how to make conversation with monks. What do I say? Phwoooar, look the rack on her? So you fancy a drink lads? They were sooo charitable! We stopped at a store and they brought me some water and biscuits. Our paths then diverged as they were heading to their temple and I was heading up the mountain. They point me in the right direction and I start my ascent. After about an hour, I reach a path way and see more tourists. They had come up the cable car. I then look around and head even higher until the path sort of ends and there was a sign in Chinese. I didn’t understand it all, but I could see two characters which meant tourist. I decide to ignore the sign and carry on climbing, at this point sometimes on my hands and knees! I finally get to a peak and peer over to see a cliff edge. I have gone up the wrong mountain!!! There’s more mountain further on, but I can’t get to it as it was far too dangerous. Those monks! Sent me up the wrong mountain!!! Worse of all, it starts to rain and I have definitely not brought enough layers for this hike!

I then decide to come back down the mountain on the scariest cable car ride ever! Things got even worse. As I get off the cable car a man approaches and shows me pictures of the places I wanted to see today and said he would take me there for Y5. So I jump on, only to find he drives me to the exact spot that I met monks. I couldn’t be bothered to walk on as I was cold and wet so I make him take me back. I give him his money and told him sarcastically in front of his friends ‘I hope your business goes well’ they laugh at him! Next I get fleeced again! I decide there are a few more places in the Lonely Planet which is near by which I can see. I ask directions and the tour assistant shows me to this booth to buy tickets to these attractions. So I buy tickets to two things. I get on the bus and then the driver explains to me, you’re not going to get a chance to see both, it’s too late in the day! Pretty gay! I get talking to two guys on the bus from Gansu and I go to see one of the attractions. The… library; it was shit!

I then manage to get to Dengfeng (the nearest town) to try and get a bus back to Luoyang. It was pretty hard finding a cab. I chat to the cab driver and he asks me what language they speak in Hong Kong? I’m amazed!

I go home cold and tired!

Miles walked: 37.489m
Steps taken: 95,392