Day 46 - November 19th

10am wake! Latest I’ve slept in to for a while! I find out that my toilet is blocked and then all the water overflows when I flush it. I leave it and try and pretend it wasn’t me! I check out and have lunch. I wait for a taxi outside the motel for a good 15 minutes and then a man comes up to me and tells me he will take me to the bus stop for the airport and that a taxi will cost at least Y50! I go back into the motel and ask reception. They tell me to take taxi from across the road. I cross over and if by magic, a cab appears straight away! As I jump in, another guy asks me if I was going to the station and if we could share a cab. We arrive at the station and the meter says Y14.90. Y50 my arse!!!

The train to Chengdu is a double-decker train. Not much happened on the train ride up, I slept a bit, read a bit and also spoke to Lisa on the phone, but gave up as the phone cut out every few km as there were many tunnels! The journey took me past things of China which I haven’t seen in a long while; palm trees and rice paddies, but then soon it got cold again as we travelled higher and higher. Saw the sun in the first time in ages!

I arrive in Chengdu after 5 hours and decide to go to the Dragon Town Hostel… it was on a street named 宽 which is my name in Chinese! The taxis in Chengdu all seem to have webcams in for some reason, which reminds me of the daytime TV game show in UK called Cash Cab! A London cab would drive around London and pick up people and then quiz them in the cab whilst they are on their journey and the contestants win money!!! Great show! I arrive at the hostel and put my washing in the machine. It finishes, but hasn’t spun dried at all! I also book a tour to the panda sanctuary for Y90. I know I could do it much cheaper on my own, but I didn’t like the idea of catching buses at 6 in the morning (pandas sleep most the day so have to go in the morning), and I got a free panda bear!

I decide to stay close by for dinner and eat at a posh looking restaurant next to the hostel. I order the burger for Y22, which turns out to be a bit of burger meat in a baguette! Not the best burger I’ve ever had! I then realize that I have been wearing the same pair of trousers for a week and half and that I must have left a pair of shorts in Shanghai at Eamonns.

I decide that I want to fly to Kunming to meet Jane my sister on Sunday, rather than take the 18 hour train! Only cost Y390! Meet Terry (another Londoner) and then later find out that in our room, there is another Brit and an Italian!

Miles walked: 303.427m

Day 45 - November 18th

Wake up late. Our boat arrived in Chongqing last night. I am late for breakfast and check out. Don’t get much time to say goodbye to the people I met on-board. I meet Vivian… Leo was right, she is pretty fit! I tell her I wanted to get a train out today for Chengdu but she tells me there are no seats today. So she books me into a Motel 168 (Eamonns favorite place to take the girls!) for Y100. I later find out there is a hostel in Chongqing, though she doesn’t really deal with this type of place. She is nice enough to take me into town after checking into my motel and buy the tickets and shows me a few shops. She then gets a call and leaves me and I walk around aimlessly for a few hours! I bump into the Brits that were onboard the ship earlier! They look very out of place! I direct them to Starbucks and they then look much happier!

I spend much of the day in internet cafes or in my room watching the Guinness World Records show in China! Highlight was the man who used his fist to crack open nuts… he cracked 50 in 30 seconds, he could have done more, but they ran out of nuts! I then realized that I could have got a bus to Chengdu! Stupid girl!

I chat to Lisa, my tour guide from the dam. She seems to open up to me and tell me all about her troubles at home and how she wants to leave, but its too scary for her! Why does this always happen to me?

Early night!

Miles walked: 299.569m

Day 44 - November 17th

Wake up with a bit of a cold. Find it hard to get out of bed! The excursion today is to the Ghost City (Hades)! Highlights were the 3 challenges we had to pass to show that we were pure and that we would be reincarnated and not have to live the rest of eternity in hell! The first test was not to fall into pond with a bridge over, the second was to pass through a door without touching the step, and the final test was to balance with one foot on a stone for 3 seconds whilst looking at the altar of Yama, the god of hell! I pass all 3 tests, using my ‘BIG Phil stretch’ exercise to pass the final test (BIG Phil Stretch: a stretch devised by the ‘Big Phil’ where you balance on one foot and hold your opposite ear, stretching both calf muscle and ear muscle!). Another highlight was the two bridges where we chose either to have long life or wealth when we crossed. All the old folk chose long life, whilst me, the only person, chose wealth… rock and roll lifestyle!

On the way back, I hear one of the most disturbing thing ever! The old folk on the tour start discussing how they are going to leave all the room keys on the table and swap wives!!! I am truly disgusted!

Have lunch, then we get invited to go look at the bridge. It’s pretty cool, just 3 guys sitting in a room and steering! I then have a nap! I wake up and then go to the free tea and biscuits give away on the viewing gallery. Weren’t great bickies! End up chatting to old Aussie couple again and Claire and her mum! Topics end up on politics and free press. Claire’s mum ends up calling me a cynical youth!!! I don’t think I’m cynical, in fact I confess that I bloody love my life and everything in it! It’s great! But some things just don’t add up in the world and that’s the way I see things!

The captain has a leaving banquet for us… free wine! Then we have performances on the ship from all the people on board. I go up and play a few songs of course! A guy from Cumbria does a poem recital, which I found it hard to figure out, god knows what the Chinese on the ship thought of it!

Miles walked: 292.412m

Day 43 - November 16th

Wake up too late for Tai Chi, but find out it was a bit rubbish anyways! Today’s excursion takes us to the Lesser 3 Gorges. We disembark and get on a smaller ferry and then get taken to a place where we transfer to even smaller Sampans. Amazingly, the rain stops today! And we get to see some really beautiful landscapes! We were rowed up the river for 45mins, then the boatmen jumped off and towed the boats from ashore. Originally, the river was only 3m high, but as the dam started to get built, it rose to 20m and is expected to rise another 20m when the dam is finished! All the people of the ravine have been moved out to other cities or built houses high up from the water level. One of the highlights of the trip!

After lunch, we hit the Second and Third Gorges. It’s pretty amazing! Just like Chinese paintings! I can’t even think of the words to describe it. Just look at the pictures! I’ve seen some of the best views in China today! As Vincent the riverboat guide tells us to look at our Y10 notes to see a picture of the view we were witnessing now, I realize, apart from the Y50 note (Lhasa) I’ve been to all the places on the back of every Chinese banknote! All the excitement gets to me and I go for a nap! I’m just like the old folk on the boat!

I went back onto the viewing galley and chatted to Claire, a traveller from Oz. She was on her way around the world and is going to a place near Xian to teach for a while. Had dinner and then chatted to an old Australian couple. Things got really weird and the topics ranged from society, socialism and technology! I really don’t know how it happens! People just seem to want to talk to me about these things! Spend the rest of the evening chatting to the riverboat guide, Vincent. I learn all about the life of a riverboat guide. He is only a few years older then me, but feels he is in a dead-end job! No chance of finding a good woman and no job prospects! The guys on the boat actually work 10 months straight, 7 days weeks, only getting half-a-day breaks before each journey.

Miles walked: 286.860m

Day 42 - November 15th

Wake up to the boat disembarking! I open the curtains and see a wall of rock! Pretty impressive. I’m happy as no one was moved into my room last night, so I am staying in a double room and paying only the single! It’s drizzling outside!

I go for breakfast buffet, and as Leo (my man in Hong Kong), the food is just okay! I get put with the English speaking group… group Lisa, named after our local guide Lisa! We get on the coach with all these tired old people who are acting like teenagers on board! “Let’s sit in the back and cause trouble” “where’s my woman gone?” and then they start singing too! Oh dear!

The coach takes us to the Great Dam, but the rain means that we could see pretty much bugger-all! I manage to haggle for some postcards from Y20 to Y10. I’m happy! Others in the group start to complain about the standard of Lisa’s (ching)lish! Does take a lot of concentration for even me to understand her, but their tour guide rebuts them by telling them that her English is way better then their Chinese! I start chatting to the guide and help her with her English, picking out things she has said wrong! She is very grateful and I could see her using the words I helped her with in her spiel and a big smile on her face when she knows she has got her pronunciation correct!

I talk to an old Australian couple, saying how it’s a shame that it was raining and we could hardly see the dam wall. “Oh well, we can come back and see it again”… whoops, they went silent and give me a strange look… I don’t think they will be up and about for long!

We get taken though all the gift shop areas and I see some how silly some of the mark-up prices are for souvenirs! A chess set which I brought in Yiwu for the business had a price tag of Y3800. I brought it from the manufacturer for around Y20 a unit! Let’s say that the people here brought it off 2 other suppliers, both doubling the price of it for profit, that’s still less than Y100, and let’s say they try and make a profit of 100% too. That’s only around Y200! The funniest bit is that you know for sure that some idiot would buy it (probably American)!

On our way back to the boat, the guide sings a folk song for us! She told us of her story, how she used to live in the city, but then her father, an engineer moved to the 3 Gorges area to work on the dam. She became very very depressed as she was away from all her friends and couldn’t do all the things you could in the city; go shopping, hang out, find a man! But her father always told her that he was doing some thing very very important and that by building the dam, many people in China will have electricity. Harsh.

Before I get back on the cruiser, I buy some beers from a store. I get 7 beers for Y35. Some weird looking can! I get back on board and then go up to the viewing deck to watch us go through the lock system. I start conversation with the tour manager of the UK group, Gillian. She tells me of all the troubles she has had with this group and all about her line of work. Good research on what I may be doing one day! Her work takes her all over the world, she was in Thailand last week, and regularly goes to Europe and Ireland. This was her first time up the Yangtze! The lock opens and we start the slow process up the system (about 4hours).

We then watch the safety presentation (Chinese one had a total of 4 people turn up!) which wasn’t really that assuring! The riverboat guide didn’t seem to be taking it too seriously and I find it a bit funny that the talk is after a whole night on board the boat! Though Gillian says that it is the same in Germany, up the Rhine and we find out that the boat is supposed to be unsinkable and has bullet proof windows as it was once used by the Chinese President at the time.

I get talking to more of the old folk on board. We then watch a talk on pearls, where I meet two girls from Gunagdong. One was alright looking. We get chatting and I show them all my pix from my travels! Captian’s welcoming party in the evening – free champagne! (for half an hour!) Dinner was followed by a talk on acupuncture and foot massage, where Vincent, the river guide, seemed to be making a lot of it up! We then were treated to a fashion show, costumes through the ages, ethnic minorities, and surprise surprise, clothes from the store on board!

I sit on the deck round the back and play guitar for a bit and drink the beer I smuggled on board… turns out to taste like shit! Never get round to finishing the 7!

Miles walked: 283.653m

Day 41 - November 14th

Toothache! I wake up and arrive at Wuhan. I chat to the couple whilst we get our stuff ready to get off the train and they tell me that I should get a Chinese girlfriend! I then break my glasses! So much for titanium frames! One screw loose and the thing falls apart. I lose that screw! Good job I have a spare pair! I step out of the station and the place looks grim! I do not like it! So I jump on the first bus I can out of there! Apparently the bus station I was at was owned by a Hong Konger. The people’s uniforms looked a lot smarter than local Chinese companies, like air stewards!

I sleep on the bus but wake up to watch Cats and Dogs in Chinese. The journey turns out to take 5 hours, not the 3/4 hours suggested in the Lonely Planet! I get to Yichang and put leave my backpack and then go get something to eat. I forget how much difference there is from inland places and coastal areas. I order some food at a restaurant and a bollock-load of food turns up! I didn’t even get halfway through it! And it was dirt cheap! Although, it was smothered in oil and far too chilli for my likings!

I walk about the town and feel all icky! I’ve not showered in a while and I must smell... run out of deodorant too! I walk pass a square where there is a performance and music. Why isn’t there things like this in other towns? I spend a few hours in a internet cafe. I then find a department store and get some deodorant! Thank god!

I then decide to have a hot chocolate and sit at the square. A group of kids arrive with a teacher. Bit late for a school trip to see performances, it’s 6pm... they then get into formation and then start dancing! They weren’t here to watch a performance, they were here to practice their cha-cha! The teacher was also the stereotypical dance teacher snob too! The kids were well good too! Amazing! All we got at my primary school was gay interpretative dance (I’m a tree) and morris dancing!

Then from the other side of the square, I hear music. I turn and see there are people practising Riverdance! It was amazing! After a while, On another corner of the square, ladies with drums start playing! I love this place! It’s a musical square! At 7pm, the real show starts and the stage is alight with people dancing and performing. I see a midget in the crowd. I don’t know why, but it reminds me of porn... don’t ask! I decide the ethnic minority dancers are fit! And in some ways, the show reminded me of our performance we did at BLCU when my class cross-dressed and sang!

I succumbed to the big M and get a McCheese burger! I sit down in Maccy D's and am surrounded by couples. How romantic! Dinner at McDonalds! I then get a drunken flash back of Shanghai and the Danish guys heckling all the people in McDonalds after our night out in Bon Bon!

I go back to the bus station for my backpack. It’s a close one, as the place was closing! Wouldn’t have been able to pick up my pack 5 mins later! The lady then tries to help me to my pier to get on my boat. She isn’t sure where it is, and calls her friends for me. She finally gives up and then puts me in a cab, but not one which is outside the station, as she says that they are not very honest! My cab driver takes me to the wrong pier at first and then after a few calls, he takes me down some dimly-lit lane and drive right pass the boat! After turning back I am finally arrive at the pier and embark on the Yangtze River!

The cruiser looks fantastic! I feel a little strange, as I rock up with my backpack and probably smelling bad whilst there are loads of middle aged people wondering around. There is a little bit of trouble at the check-in counter, as they had me down as from Hong Kong. It was run like a hotel! Very nice. I get to my room and Do the 3 S’s; Shit, Shower, Shave. I then look around the boat; it’s full of middle aged tours! Not great! I go to the bar and get a drink; Y50 for a JD and Coke. Doesn’t look all that exciting on the boat!

Miles walked: 278.595m

Day 40 - November 13th

Wake up to Chinese guys in my room talking loudly; “that girl likes you... she likes you... you have a better chance... is she looking in?” It’s like 13 year olds! I decide I'd better get out of bed and make an early start to get to Huangshan. Shower and then check email... decide against Huangshan after talking to Ting Ting. So I surf the net instead and decide on my next move. I almost forget to check out!

New plan: bum around for today and wait for sleeper train to Wuhan, then get a bus in the morning to Yichang and get on a boat and go to the 3 gorges and end up in Chengqing. But what boat to take?

I meet Roger whilst I check out. We sit and chat whilst I have my lunch and the topic seems to get really deep again. What is wrong with me? Everyone I’ve spoken to recently, the topics have got really deep like people’s living standard and politics!!!

Can’t get through to the train station by phone to buy my tickets, so I decide to go directly and buy it myself. I follow a group of German guys but they talk me to the wrong bus stop, as they are going to another station. Damn Germans! The bus back from the train station was a tour bus!

Back at the hostel, I meet a Canadian couple who had done the cruise downriver, and from their experiences, I decide to take the expensive luxury cruise up! Though they paid Y1200 each, which didn’t include food, excursions and they had to share a cabin with 2 other people, all in all costing them Y1400. The 5-star cruise that I am looking at is Y1800! I’m so glad that I have friends in the travel business here in China to get me the deals!

Watch Alien vs. Predator in the Hostel. Another hour and a half of my life I will never get back! Then go get dinner with Jay, a Londoner! He is on his way to Australia via China, and was waiting for a flight to Zhengzhou tonight. I don’t think he liked the local food all too much! I get a toothache. We see Tatsu with his “girl friend”... funny that, as last night he was saying how his girlfriend was in Japan and this girl was Chinese!

I send Jay off in a taxi to the airport and go back to the hostel. Super Size Me is on. I decide to go read in the reading area as the film is too depressing for me, but an American guy at the hostel seems to love it! They put on Alien vs. Predator again! Decide to watch the first 20mins which I missed last time round! So an hour and 50mins of my life gone now! I say goodbye to Roger, who seems to be accompanied by his Chinese friend (also a young girl), everyone's just picking up girls? Is there some sort of female escort service at this hostel?

I get on the sleeper train to Wuhan at 11.20pm. I am lucky to get put in a cabin with an elderly couple. We talk for a bit with the only notable subjects; University system, families and living together and then I taught the wife some English; “goodnight”.

Miles walked: 271.342m

Day 39 - November 12th

Shopping!!!

I leave my Uncle and Mr Jin at 2 to catch my train back to Hangzhou. I decide to take a motorbike taxi back to the hotel with a box of stuff which my uncle needs to take back to UK. We get stopped by police! He asks for my ID, so I give him my British Passport. The police officer is dumbfound! He doesn’t know what to do or where to look at it! After studying my passport for a while, he gives up and gives it back to me. On hearing that I’m from England, the motor cab driver decides to quiz me! “are English girls pretty?... I would like to get with one... Chinese girls are like tigers” Then he asks me, “How do you say; I want to make love to you?”, so I translate, and tell him that I’m not that way inclined!

I get my stuff and head to the train station. I go to the toilet with my pack on my back and daybag in front. It’s at these times which I am glad I am not travelling with Eamonn and I would be prime for a pushing over, and with one hand holding my cock and the other holding my day bag to one side, I would not be getting up!

I am glad about spending the last few days with my unlce in Yiwu. It was a reality check and helped me sort a lot out. And I got a good hotel and good food!

People are selling torches on the train journey again.

Arrive at Hangzhou again and book into a different hostel; closer to the station. It seems okay and I meet a Japanese guy, Tatsu, who has been cycling from Vietnam all the way to Shanghai! It seems amazing... I want to do it! It’s all unplanned, he just gets to a province, buys a street map and then rides to the next province! He turns out to be a right laugh and we have a few beers.

Can’t decide on where to go next, as my intended place, Huangshan seems to be cloudy and will rain later. Seems a bit pointless going if its shit weather and won’t get to see the sun rise! But still can’t decide.

Miles walked: 266.047m

Day 38 - November 11th

Shopping!!!

Miles walked: 259.519m

Day 37 - November 10th

Shopping!!!

Nothing special.

Miles walked: 251.415m

Day 36 - November 9th

Shopping!!!

We have hotpot for dinner; service was awful, but there was a bollock-load of food! I decide that I hate Hong Kongers. One of our employees, Mr Jin is from Shanghai and had been working for us in London for 2 years before moving back to China. When Mummy Ma tried to talk to Mr Jin, she couldn’t, as her Mandarin was shit! So she asks him, why can’t you speak Cantonese? Hong Kongers are soo fucking up themselves and ignorant sometimes! They blamed the situation on my uncle for speaking Mandarin to him and not Cantonese!

They go for a massage with my uncle and both me and Mr Jin opt out. He goes to bed and I go to the internet bar.

Miles walked: 243.057m

Day 35 - November 8th

As most of what I did in Yiwu is for work, I will skip out the day-to-day action! Basically, I am with my uncle, buying stock (as in goods) to import and sell in UK. Yiwu was built about 10 years ago in the middle of nowhere, but all the factories in all of China have a showroom there. It’s basically where everyone goes to buy ‘commodities’ (it’s called the Commodities City) and it’s full of Chinese and Arabs! Was pretty fun going into a store and saying.. “yes, I’ll have 200 units of this, 100 units of this and 50 oh these, if they sell well, I’ll take another 200!” I was the big boss!

Shopping!!!

We meet up with the Ma family who are some sort of distant relative who decide to come visit Yiwu. God knows why? There’s nothing to do here! We go have dinner with them but have the misfortune of turning up to a restaurant which was hosting a wedding banquet! It was noisy as hell! The host of the banquet (as Chinese banquets usually have) was also the entertainment as he sang numerous love songs. Was pretty mental.

Miles walked: 235.693m

Day 34 - November 7th

Wake up and check out. No internet!!! I get a taxi to the train station, and listen to some real funny radio ads. Both were selling apartments, “In London, you have the Thames lifestyle. In Hangzhou, you have the West Lake lifestyle!” and “I’m always first to the football pitch because I live at the Cambridge Complex”. I leave my backpack at the left luggage place at the train station and then jump into a mini van to the long-distance bus station. The driver was actually mad!

I get on a bus for Wuzhen, another water town which my mother suggested I go to! It takes a good hour to get there and then I jump into a rickshaw and he takes me on a tour for Y30... it was pretty shit! Haha! He took me to the old crappy part of town and to a wine wholesaler as I said I wanted to buy some! Cost me Y30 for 2 bottles and they look pretty nice! Tasted it... not too nice! He then took me to some old woman's house and I gave her Y1 for her to talk to me about her house. Apparently it was about 500 years old and there was these wooden panels which were supposed to be important. He then took me to some other back streets which were pretty crappy, though I did see a lot of local workshops with old folk making stuff!

He then took me to the main touristy area where he said it’s not really worth going to see. I look around the outside and like it so decide to pay the Y100 to get in. It was like the old town, but renovated and more pretty! Walked around the ‘scenic spot’, but a lot of the shows were not on as it is off season! Looked at all the sites inside, was okay, but the things that stuck out were the opera in the main square and the puppet show!

On the bus ride home, I sit next to a Chongqing University graduate and we get chatting. He tells me that there is another place nearby which is also a river town, but it is much much better and is free. On my return to Hangzhou, the traffic is chock-a-block. I manage to get on a taxi back to the train station, but the next train was in an hour and 45mins. It seems that Hangzhou has always got it in for me for travelling! I decide to spend my time in a Internet cafe/massage parlour/brothel! Strange combo place next to the station! Funny as I see a guy and his g/f, where his g/f is saying "let's go" but he’s saying back to her "let me play a little longer"! This goes on for a while. I have a little titter!

I have an urge for KFC so I go, but I was running out of time so run out of the place to catch my train. I think I actually forgot the chicken wings, but i don’t really know what I ordered! I get the usual stares on the train and can smell Bai Jiu everywhere. I don’t know if it’s me or what? I’m getting a real disliking of it now! I spend the rest of the train journey brainstorming what I need to do when at Yiwu (my next destination where I meet my uncle for work). The sweets in my pocket melt.

I arrive at Yiwu earlier then intended and jump in a cab. I share it with some other woman; cabs here are soo retarded! I get to my hotel and tell the receptionist that my uncle has booked me in and such. They take me up to the room and no one is there. I tip the bellhop; I was staying at a nice hotel, what can I do? Meet my uncle and eat dinner, then go to the street market and buy some more socks!

Miles walked: 231.078m

Day 33 - November 6th

Wake and take a taxi to the Tea Museum, where the taxi driver waits for us (I meet Andrena there) whilst we look around the museum. He gets pissed off as we take a good half an hour when he suggested that it only takes a few minutes to see everything! He then takes us to Longjing Village (Dragon Well Village) to buy tea. The first 'tea house' we went to tried to charge us Y500 a catty (500g) for the tea, so we walk out! We carry on walking up the road and get to the village proper. The air is so clean here! On our stroll, an old lady comes up to us and asks us if we wanted to take pictures! She then grabs us and grandma-handles us to get into the perfect poses for pictures with the mountain as backgrounds and surrounded by tea plants (trees?). She could have been a film director with her demands of “stand this way… no, no, point the camera this way!” We end up going to her tea house and buying tea from her. Y250 for a catty! Half the price, so I buy 3 tins!

Time is running short as Andrena has to catch a train back to Shanghai, so we get a taxi back to town and get some food. We go to a Muslim place for a quick bite, which turns out to be the slowest meal to cook ever! And the spiciest as well! The food takes so long that Andrena actually misses her train back to Shanghai, so we go for drinks at the hotel opposite (originally coffee, but then saw that alcohol was same price!). Safely get her on the train on our second attempt!

I then decide to go for a wonder around the city which takes me to Carrefore (French food store, like Tesco). I walk past the car park and see a man going to all the mopeds and hitting the boot compartment and setting all the alarms off. He had the BIG and CLEVER look on his face! I then went to the Temple of King Qian, the king of the area many years ago who led the local people through many years of peace and prosperity whilst joining with rival kingdoms to create China. I saw the tiniest squirrel in there! Very different to the grey ones at home! It seems that I had just missed something, as a lot of photographers were walking out and there was gold clothe on all the walls and pillars.

I then found a book store and replenished my reading literature and got a paper which I sat by the lake and read as the sun went down. Was very old man like! As the sun went down I returned to my hostel by bus this time. Hangzhou’s bus system is strange in the fact that I got a coach with the bus route on and there are also mini vans which run the same route. So it’s not one company with a fleet of buses, but many people running the same line.

I get back and have dinner; West Lake fish again. I’ve realised that I am eating well again - hurrah! I then chat with the reception girl at the hostel all night, showing her pix of my travels so far and testing her English! I’m surprised that she didn’t recognise Marx and Engels in one of my pictures. Early night.

Miles walked: 223.15m

Day 32 - November 5th

Wake up at 9.30, shoulders still hurt and I find it really hard to get up. I suppose I’m not used to waking up so early from waking up around at least midday in Shanghai! I get ready and find out that I had the taps the wrong way again yesterday for the shower! STUPID!!! I get a decent enough bike (yesterdays was a little too small) and ride out to get breakfast in town. I meet Andrena at the Ming Hostel in town.

We get her a bike from the hostel (more expensive then my bike!). My first impression is that she doesn’t look too ‘mobile’ on the bike! I ask her when was the last time she rode, it was only a few weeks ago in Xian, though that was on the city wall, not on busy streets! I’m glad we changed our plans, as originally we were going to go ride through the mountains!

First stop, Yellow Dragon Cave Park. We dismount and walk up to the pagoda. Looks pretty different to all the other pagodas I’ve seen. Andrena whips out her wide angle lens for her compact camera. It looks pretty cool actually, bit weird for a compact camera but pretty cool gadget! We then trek up the mountain which gives pretty cool views of Hangzhou and try and find the Sunrise Terrace. We finally find it after getting lost and then bump into Paopin Temple, one of the places I wanted to go see.

After two hours of trekking in the park, we leave and go for lunch. Go to a pretty posh looking place on the north bank of the lake and turns out to be pretty expensive! Y50 each, but it was pretty nice food, had West Lake Fish, a speciality of Hangzhou.

We then re-saddled and cycled across Baidi Causeway and went to the provincial museum. It was actually pretty good, and free! I’ve never been to a free museum in China before! Would have been better if I hadn’t just been to Shanghai Museum the week before and Nanjing Musesum the week before that… I don’t think I will be going to another museum for a while! We then get to General Yue Fei’s Mausoleum. He was a general in the Song Dynasty who successfully fended off several invaders, but then was betrayed by the court and executed (fucking Mandarins!).

We then rode down Sudi Causeway and then all the way around the lake to return to the hostel where we rented the bikes! The hostel looks a lot livelier then the one I’m in at the moment! We go to the Old Street to look around and go for some tea tasting! Dinner was good, ate fatty pork (aka heart attack in a pot)!

Knackered, return to my hostel and use free internet!!!

Miles walked: 214.283m

Day 31 - November 4th

Wake up late… shoulders hurt! No hot water for shower! I have breakfast/lunch at the restaurant downstairs from the hostel. It looks as though it used to be just a restaurant, but then they added a hostel on top. There’s a nice water feature at the restaurant. I eat noodles. I then rent a bike and ride into town (my hostel seems to be miles away from town). I get to a pagoda which I enter and climb. It’s really nice and the views are pretty good, but I just can’t be arsed with anything! I’m just bored of it all now!

I ditch my bike and then pretty much force myself to walk by the West Lake (bikes are not allowed) which is full of people. What’s worse, it’s full of couples. Yea, it’s pretty romantic, with all the cheesy love songs blaring out the speaker system, but it gets a bit too much for me! I start to hate all the people who are showing too much affection for each other in public! (I used to be unashamedly be one!) Then I see all the doochebag looking people with their girlfriends. I don’t know which is worse? Overly affectionate or dooschebag couples?

I find a pavilion with people taking turns in singing opera and playing music. Nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon methinks! Then I get to this square where it seems that people are just gathering in crowds and arguing! It looks pretty heated! I suppose ancient Greece was very much like this?

I meet an Aussie lady called Andrena from Melbourne outside the ticket booth for a boat trip. I approach her and make conversation and try to help translate for her with the ticket booth lady. I crack one of the best jokes ever! “I don’t know if I wanna go on this boat” “me neither, I suppose we’re in the same boat!” hahahaha… I guess you had to be there! We take the boat trip and see all the islands in the lake. Not much to say. Just some islands innit! We decide to have dinner and have a Hangzhou specialty: duck. It was pretty nice, a bit on the salty side though.

Andrena then goes to a show which apparently foreigners always like to watch! It’s Y300 so I decide against it! I find a busker on the way to my bike and then start chatting and play a few numbers! Yes… I did. I played Wonderwall!

I finally find my bike and cycle home. I chill out and use the Internet. When I go to pay for it, the boss tells me not to bother, just use it! I also meet the other person staying in my room. We chat and he says that as long as I’m Chinese, we are friends! He seems real nice, a art student from Dalian. A big group of students arrive in the hostel tonight, but not in my room!

Miles walked: 203.519m

Day 30 - November 3rd

Late wake up again! Woken by Pierre, French guy who’s living at the apartment at the mo, losing his phone. He must have dropped it in the taxi when he was returning from the office (on a Saturday!). Pretty annoying, as the person called my phone back, but when I tried to talk to them, they didn’t answer. Stolen! Decide to get my shit together and go down to Pizza Hut for lunch! I eat 4 of the 6 pieces of my pizza and save the other two pieces for later! I’ve turned into such an old man! Haha!

I bid Eamonn farewell, even though he says he will meet me tomorrow in Hangzhou. I face the metro system with all my luggage. Pretty hard work! I get to the train station after an hour and go get a ticket. The Lonely Planet suggests it will cost Y40, I get a ticket for Y24. I notice later that I have got the slow train! Everyone seems to be looking at me. Just staring! The train stewards here are sooo anal! He had to make sure all my straps from my backpack were tucked into the over head shelf which took a good few minutes! So anal for something which is perfectly safe! I suppose he was trying to make his train look neater or something? He seemed to have missed the fact that the trains are just DIRTY! The Tannoys start blaring out Backstreet Boys. I decide it’s time to listen to my iPod!

After 2 hours, I arrive at Hangzhou. Whilst leaving, I talk to people and they warn me that I shouldn’t tell people I am from Hong Kong! So what should I tell them? I come from England? Rip me off even more? The taxi ride is crazy! We get to a traffic jam, where people are getting out of their cars and yelling at the police! Apparently, there is a fireworks display today and all the roads are closed! The taxi driver stops and tells me to get out and walk the rest of the way to my hostel. Its just a few 100 metres down the off ramp of the highway. Okay… so I get out and walk.

Turns out my hostel wasn’t ‘just’ down the road. Its miles away! I call the hostel and the original one I wanted was fully booked anyway… first time I’ve had trouble with bookings! Then the second one I choose say I should get a taxi to get there. So I wait for a taxi… and wait… and wait. A good half hour passes so I decide maybe I should move and try to find a better place. I walk pass many massage parlours with red lights… hmm. When I say lots, I mean a whole bloody block! Maybe this ain't the best place to hang out! After an hour, I give up getting in a taxi (after several actually don’t let me in!) and decide the best course of action would be to go to an Internet café and chill for a bit until the traffic is better (this is at about 10pm).

After an hour, I still can’t seem to get a taxi. So I call up the hostel and ask them which direction I would have to walk. Better to walk half way and find a cab then sit around with nothing! On my walk, I get people laugh at me “so you can’t get a cab?”. I finally get a cab after walking a good 4 blocks. “Why do you want to go to that youth hostel? There’s one just around the corner…” I decide that I started walking to this hostel, by god am I gonna get there!

I arrive (3 hours after getting off the train!) and check in. I am greeted by a Chinese lady who was from the states who can talk Cantonese. We talk in 3 different languages! She seems nice enough, but then after a few hours, she leaves with some other people to go to Yellow Mountain.

I see a mouse run out of my room! I eat my 2 remaining slices of pizza!

Miles walked: 195.750m

Day 29 - November 2nd

2pm wake up! Feel bad for wasting yet another half a day! I get dumplings for lunch and then get bus into town with Max. I arrive at the Bund for around sun down. Yea, took me a while to get ready and my shit together! Pictures, picture, picture! I take the stupid gay tunnel across the Bund, which is JUST gay!

When up the Pearl Tower. Thought I’d go see the night view as I’ve done it all before, but in the daytime. Get on the binoculars for 30secs… you can see right into people’s apartments and into hotel rooms! Hehe… I’ll stop there! I decide to be really touristy and get some popcorn and go to the lower deck of the observation tower, which was a lot less crowded and had prob even better views of the city! Spend about an hour up there and then decide to leave. Find huge pictures in the lobby of the Tower, one of the Great Wall, one of Pudong in Shanghai and then one of Niagara Falls! I find it funny, but then realize there are pictures of all the worlds sights… no Top Golf of Watford though! See one of the best buskers in on the subway home!

Have dinner at home with Eamonn… great cook! Then night out! Go to random house-warming where I get loads of crazy people interviews! Go to nightclub called Muse… sausage fest! 4 o'clock return!

Miles walked: 190.795m

Day 28 - November 1st

Mozzy last night kept me up! The bastard bit me on the forehead as the rest of my body was wrapped up in my sleeping bag! I finally make it to the museum (third attempt!) and the whole place is full of children on a school trip. I get myself an audio tour and then go to the top of the museum and worm myself down (the opposite to the school kids). After 2 hours of museuming, I have a break and have a chocolate cake. The kids have seem to have gone, but they are replaced by even more annoying Americans!

I would say that this museum is my second favourite in China, 1^st place going to Beijing Military Museum, but that’s mainly because I got to ride in a tank there! After the 4^th hour, I regret bringing my Lonely Planet with me, as my shoulders start to ache! I leave at chucking out time, spending a total of 5 hours there. I think I saw everything, but the last hour was very rushed! Maybe should have woke up an hour earlier!

On the way home, I see a street-peddler selling Monopoly. I don’t know if it’s the Shanghai edition, but I get it for the boys as a gift for letting me stay round for soo long! I’m happy as I haggle it down by a lot!

Monopoly night! I win!!! I’m great! Max is the funniest person ever!

Miles walked: 186.186 m

Day 27 - October 31st

Sleep in till 1. Doesn’t look like I will be going to the museum today! Cook noodles for lunch at home. I feel real bad that I have wasted yet another day, so decide to leave the house and just go somewhere. I end up going to the old town… I’ve been here before! My dad took me last time I came to Shanghai! Worse, it’s full of people! I’m not really feeling busyness today!

The metro system in Shanghai is very similar to Hong Kong in the fact that the platforms have glass panels to stop people falling/jumping and have doors at where the doors of the train would stop. But unlike HK, the doors were open all the time, rather than just when the train pulled up. Sort of pointless now having a safety system when you don’t use it? My thoughts on the savvyness of the Shanghainese changes. Even funnier, the trains aren’t even the whole length of the platform, causing stampedes of people running up the platform when the train stops… surely not safe? Worst of all, I get stuck on my train as I can’t get off because the crowd of people rushing in when I am trying to get out! My metro experience was not very good today!

Have dinner with Eamonn, Neith and two other Irish, Amy and Keane from the flat downstairs. Big Halloween night tonight, but I am too tired to go with them! Also, I was determined to go to the museum tomorrow! I was asked what food I really wanted to eat. I answered; “shepard’s pie” the response was “fuck off back to England!!!” I settle for a lasagna instead! Go home and have early night.

Miles walked: 180.488m

Day 26 - October 30th

Wake up and drag myself up! I’m such a bum nowadays! I’ve woken up the last two days when Max gets back from Uni at midday. I tell him I’m going to the Shanghai Museum and set off to get some foodage! I force the food down me, but I’m not really enjoying it any more! Feel pretty miserable! I talk to Lisa, which cheers me up, and then I decide it’s probably best to just go home and sleep. So I go to the supermarket and get myself some snacks and fruit and then head home.

I sit and watch some more BBC News and then I hear a key rustling at the door. Now, I know Eamonn is at work, and Max had just gone to Chinese class… it’s the third house mate who I have not met yet! She walks in with her mum and uncle; “hello! I’m Eamonn’s friend” I’m glad she didn’t find me in my underwear with a beer in my hand (the thought had crossed my mind… what? No one was in the house!?!?) Was still pretty awkward though! But they left after a bit so I was left on my own again!

Nap!

Wake up to Max returning after lessons. “Do you want to come play football?” My answer? “Hell yeah!!!” So he lends me some shoes and a t-shirt and we’re off to play football with the French. Most fun I have had in a long time!!! Showed my skills and most importantly formed part of the Great Wall of China in front of our goal!

Return home HUNGRY! Have a shower and shave my scraggly beard! Go and have dinner with the French… order the typical Kung Pao Chicken and Sweet and Sour Pork. Get a call from mum and wish her happy birthday. What a great son I am, I make her call me to wish her birthday wishes! The French guys go up to their apartment to have a smoke. I decide against it, as I feel the high is not worth the risk. I was told that it’s not that risky, as most police officers don’t know the smell of weed, so even if they investigate, they wouldn’t know what it was! Though life sentence in China doesn’t sound that appealing for me for a few drags and a high!

Spend an hour and a half trying to find credit for my phone and panicking so that I could call Olivia and meet up for drinks tonight. Her mobile wasn’t working, so I was relying on her calling me, but you can’t receive calls in China unless you have credit. Gay system! I finally get credit at around midnight and receive call from Olivia. It was only her 2^nd attempt to call me! As usual, she wasn’t even ready or packed (her flight leaves tomorrow at 6am). We decide to meet at 1am! Girls ey?

We go for drinks and stay out until around 4. No sleep for her tonight! Taxi home was pretty scary, the driver was actually falling asleep at the wheel! I decide to talk to him to keep him awake!

Miles walked: 173.083m

Day 25 - October 29th

Wake up and try and make it to the Shanghai Museum. Decide to meet Neith for lunch, though it takes me about an hour to find where she works! We have a good natter about missing home and eat a sandwich! I then try and find a bus back into town for People’s Square, but I’m not sure which one to take so I ask someone. Their first reaction is "are you from Hong Kong?"

I decide to get into a taxi and have a nice chat with the driver! He thinks I am a film director! The topic gets onto people from UK and about class differences and such. I know I might be heading for a particularly sensitive subject so just decide to tell him that at the end of the day, everyone is the same everywhere and so are governments! Phew! He likes me and says that I am a descendant of the Yellow Emperor! He then asks me about the doll in UK. I tell him I know little about it!

Make it to People’s Square, but it’s too late to go to Shanghai Museum (3 o’clock by now… I’d need a good 4 hours and it closes in 2) so I settle for the Shanghai Urban Planning Museum instead! Pretty good museum, though it got rather tedious at the end as I don’t really care too much about Shanghai to be fair :P

Read in People’s Square and then decide to go for a walk. This walk becomes a mammoth walk which gets me lost and covers around 10miles!!! I just started walking and couldn't stop!

Meet Olivia (friend from BLCU who was visiting Shanghai too) at around 11pm. Tell her how fed-up I am of travelling! She tells me I look very thin and I realise that I haven’t actually been eating lately! Maybe why I keep doing stupid things! We hang out at McDonalds!

Miles walked: 166.903m

Day 24 - October 28th

Hung over! Write-off day! Done nothing apart from watch the Discovery Channel, a DVD and the football!!!

Shortest entry I’ve written!

Miles walked: 153.076m

Day 23 - October 27th

Wake up to piano playing from upstairs. Would sound real cultured and cool if I could say what was being played… but I’m not cultured and cool! Look out the window and see children playing in the park. Big contrast to what had happened the night before. I go to the living room and turn on the TV. They have satellite! I watch Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back! I also find that they have BBC News! Quality!

Have dim sum lunch with Martin. Was alright dim sum, nothing on the stuff back in Hong Kong! Eamonn takes me to the French Concessions and a swanky place called Shin Tian Di. There are soo many fit girls, both Chinese and Western! Eamonn leaves me to go help a friend with her English… apparently she has fit friends!

I walk around the French concessions and it feels like being back in London! There’s enough whiteys, though they all speak French! I walk a good few miles and get tired so I decide to go home via the metro. I take it the wrong way and get lost twice! It’s a silly system! People seem so much savvier here in Shanghai. Very un-Chinese!

Get home and upload a bollock-load of pictures! So much faster here and using a decent PC! Go to a ramen place for Dinner; one of my favourite places when I was in Hong Kong. Meet Eamonn again and the drinking starts! I won’t get into too much detail of the night out, but we went to a place called Bon Bon (all you can drink for Y120) and ended up with a Danish passed out on the sofa, whilst Eamonn had to escape the clutches of Helgar, the German who was after his Irish bits! Return home at 6am!

Miles walked: 151.316m

Day 22 - October 26th

Pack my bags and it ends up heavier and bulkier than before! Maybe it’s the make up bag the Danes left which I was taking to them! I have a Burger King with Tom for breakfast! We walk pass another internet café which is closer then the one we had been going to all this time round the corner. I say goodbye to Tom who is the first person I have spent more than one day hanging out with!

I top up my phone, buy an Y100 card for Y105, a common thing I found out from now on as I have a Beijing number and that takes a different top up card.

I get a ticket to Suzhou and I think it is 1^st class again when I get on the train. Pretty short trip and I sleep for most of it. I get off the train and find a whitey tour group. I leave the station and am swamped with people selling maps and homeless people with limbs missing. Not the best first impression! I buy a map and then someone asks me if I need a hotel. I tell them I got a hostel booked and they ask me the price. I tell them Y40, they turn away knowing they can’t do much to match that!

I get into a cab and am taken to the hostel by a nice man who is learning English and Cantonese! We chat away alternating in the three languages and I help him with some of his homework!

I arrive at he hostel and I am told there is someone from England who looks just like me who left yesterday! I have a doppelganger!

I walk around the streets. It is really pretty… so are the girls! It was like walking backwards in time and the canal is really cool!

Arrive in Shanghai! Have a stiff drink, sleep.

Miles walked: 143.750m

Day 21 - October 25th

Just couldn’t get the day started! The amounts of times we left the hostel and had to go back for things or got distracted by things! We head to Nanjing Museum, first taking the metro system. We sit and admire some of the warning signs. A toddler sitting across from us stands up and walks towards me so I give him a nice smile. He gets embarrassed and turns to run away to his mother, grabbing the first part of her body he could. Turns out it wasn’t his mother he turns to, but he accidentally grabs hold of a random guys legs he was next too! Cute Chinese baby!

I get distracted by a book store we walk by and I decide to go in to solve my lack of reading material problem! I am browsing the English section as Tom has to use the facilities, when a Chinese girl comes up to me and starts talking. I’m not sure what she is talking about, but she shows me a flyer for an English School. I stop her mid-sentence and in perfect English say “I can speak English!” She is highly embarrassed and runs away! Funny girl! Was pretty fit too! I end up buying The Time Machine by H.G. Wells (Tom’s recommendation) and Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner.

We then board a bus takes us to the old Ming Palace Ruins, the predecessor to the Forbidden Palace in Beijing. On the bus, we see a girl who gets off at the wrong stop and has to ask her friend who is on board for Y2 so she can get back on again. It is mildly funny! Nanjing people are funny! The Ming Palace Ruins turns out to be just a park with the front gate of the old palace and just an open space with some ruins/rocks which I presume used to be the palace… they weren’t lying when they said it was a ruin!

Nanjing Museum is okay. Not that much is labelled in English even though the Lonely Planet says otherwise. The most impressive thing of note was probably the lacquer-ware. Most other things in the museum I have seen before in either Beijing or Xian, though the Jade armour was pretty cool too! It is something I had read about as a kid in a children’s encyclopaedia. Spend a good two hours in there. Fall asleep on the bus journey home, so we decide against going to the Citadel, plus it was getting late and dark by then. We spend next three hours in an internet café playing Counter Strike! I forgot how fun it was to shoot random people!

We returned to the hostel to have dinner and chill out. I decide against going out on the town with Tom as I am still feeling ill and I have to be better for when I get to Shanghai. A lot of drinking to be done then! So I have a shot of Jim Bean and take a rain-check with Tom. He decides to go out and tries to find the girls who work at the hostel at a nightclub they said they would be at. I notice a picture of Sam in one of Tom’s photos! So that’s two different sets of people we both have met on our journeys!

I speak to the night porter at the hostel and it turns out he is from Guangdong. He tries talking to me in Cantonese, but I understood him better when he spoke Mandarin! I also find a guy from Hong Kong when I go to brush my teeth before bed. He is putting some facial scrub on… such a Hong Kong metrosexual!

Miles walked: 136.063m

Day 20 - October 24th

Slept in until 11! We (me and Tom) finally get our act together and rent bikes from the hostel. Tom had to get his fixed and he gets charged Y5, I think I would have got it for Y2 or 3! We get brunch at a Papa Johns which turns out to be pretty expensive for very little, however it is the first time in China I have seen a refill on fizzy drinks!

We then cycle to a park where the guard tells us we cannot enter with bikes. So we ride down the road a bit more and enter through another entrance where the guard just waved us through without paying! We then ride to a place called Zujin Mountain; basically huge park with a mountain in it. We decide against riding our bikes up the mountain as we don’t have too much time due to our late start (2 o’clock by now) and didn’t fancy the workout! We pass bus’ which goes to Argos! I later find many more buses in the city go to there. I’m guessing many people in Nanjing want to do some catalogue shopping!

We decide to skip the Ming tombs, but decide to go see Sun Yat Sen’s Mausoleum. It’s pretty cool with its blue nationalistic roof tiling, as opposed to all the red Communist style of Beijing I am used to! Dr Zhong Shan (another alias of Sun Yat Sen) was a very important figure in Chinese revolutionary history and is called the grandfather of the Chinese Nation, with his 3 principles; Nationalism, Sovereignty and Livelihood. He is revered by both Nationalists (Taiwan) and Communists. I admire a plaque erected outside his mausoleum reading; “The World Belongs to the Public” (trans.)

We also go to the Linggu Temple which houses the Beamless Hall… a large building with no beams supporting it. It’s not actually that impressive, just has curved roof arches and is converted into a sort of show room with revolutionary and anti-Japanese war dioramas. We then go see a pagoda… they all seem the same now!

It starts to get dark so we decide to make our way home. Have dinner at a restaurant on the way where I teach Tom how to eat meat off the bone. Funny how the food you eat when you are growing up dictates what you eat when an adult. Not much happens when we get back to the hostel. Played pool and then sleep. Sore bum again!

Miles walked: 129.587m

Day 19 - October 23rd

The light from the shop below the hostel is turned on all night as it seems someone forgot to turn it off. It is sooo bright! I woke up at 6 in the morning thinking it was midday due to the light but then look at my watch! By 8 o’clock the noise from outside wakes me up. The hostel would be in a good location if it was several metres down the road as it is right on a roundabout and Chinese drivers like to honk when they get to a roundabout!

I go into the shower room and turn on the water. I stand there for a good 10 minutes and then come out asking the cleaning lady if the heating is turned off or not? I had been standing there with the cold tap on rather than the hot! I feel a right plonker! I then play pool whilst I wait for everyone else to wake up. Joe suggests we go play badminton. Sounded like a good idea… I go for it! Turned out to be pretty fun!

Say good bye to the Danes and then go and have a Burger King! First one I had in ages! And it costs the same as a McDonalds! Why the hell do locals still go to Maccy D’s when there’s the King? Joe didn’t know there was a difference between the two, but now I have shown him the light! I go to the Taiping Museum which is in a garden. The garden is very nice and I would have stayed longer I wasn’t being eaten by mozzys!

I return to the hostel and meet a Dutch guy called Tom. We play pool and table football. He beats me at pool 2-1 and I take table football with a landslide 2-0! It turns out he met the boys from Leeds when he was in Shanghai! Small world!

We go have dinner with the Aussie couple. Not the best meal. Expensive and very plain, though they did order the plainest things! I decide to go for a ducks head. Pretty salty! Not much meat and was a pain in the arse picking the fleshy bits from inside the skull out (I’m guessing that must be the brain?)

I go to an internet café and they ask for my ID. I give them my passport and they just look at me. So I give them my HK ID instead. They are grateful! Everyone’s asleep by the time I get home so I also slumber.

Miles walked: 121.485m

Day 18 - October 22nd

Wake up and check out. Internet is down at the hostel, so don’t get to check up on my Facebook before my long train journey! I get in a cab for the train station and pass the bus station which I arrived at. The meter showed Y10… I paid Y72 on my way in… fucking cowboy taxi driver!

I feel that in Qingdao, I’ve been neglecting my blog entries, so 8 hour train journey with no reading material should help me with some good blog material! I get on the train (1^st class baby!!!) I decide first class IS the way forward! It’s clean and plenty of leg space… important factors for 8 hour journeys! And I get warm water on demand! Wow!

A steward walks pass with her hair tied up in the back with a hair net… looks like a bollock! We pass the Qingdao Malting Mill… I’m annoyed that I went Qingdao and didn’t have a single beer… I was offered two free ones and all!!!

Hour and half into the journey, I decide to go check out the facilities! I press the button for the automatic door for the toilet… it flings open and there’s a Chinese guy pissing… ARGH!!! Pretty embarrassing! I don’t stick around to say sorry!

I notice there are less people to watch in 1^st class compared to my last train journey! Though the guy who’s seat should be next to mine keeps moving away, but moving back as more and more people board our train. Past Jinan and Tai Shan… I hate back tracking!

I chat to Matt Earley on the phone… maybe I should have taken a trip up to Beijing. Korean saunas sound interesting! I have a thought; have I learnt more then I would from reading a book? Maybe I should talk to more people? Don’t really feel like it!

Pass soo much countryside! I see new sprouts in the field. It’s such a contrast from 2 weeks ago! I notice I’ve taken a lot less pictures this week. Suppose everything looks pretty much the same now! I decide to go to the restaurant car for some luncheon and pass the peasant’s seats! They don’t look too bad and maybe it doesn’t look like a Y100 difference, but I’d rather be where I am than with the common folk!

The train crew are cute. I test the water; "do you have any English magazines?" … they’re not digging it! I eat a shitty microwave meal for Y20. A thought comes to my mind… do I get food in my moustache when I eat? Would any one tell me?

I return to my seat to find the business man sitting next to me studying the safety manual pretty intensely! He’ll know all the safety exits very soon. Maybe I should start a conversation with him…

Speak to him after an hour of twiddling my thumbs! He asks me if there are poor people in UK. Odd topic we talk about! We exchange business cards after a while. Shit! I didn’t study his intently enough as he did mine when we exchanged. He must think I’m a barbarian! Turns out he’s a salesman for machinery which makes glassware. He’s been in the industry for 30 years and at his current business for 20 years. The job he had before was before the industry got privatised and he was working for the state.

I pass wind.

The man gets off the train an hour and a half before me and then a really camp guys sits next to me! I decide against talking to him! I take a nap but wake up to him trying to chat up a steward (girl). She is not impressed… he’s old enough to be her father!

Why do so many Chinese people smell of preserved cabbage?

The train had been playing the same music over and over again, but then a new CD gets put on and I get to hear the BeeGee’s ‘How Deep Is Your Love?’. The train passes a bridge which is one of Nanjing’s tourist attractions. It’s dark outside so I see nothing!

Get off the train and into a taxi. The taxi driver is rubbish! I tried making conversation and he just ignores me. Bastard! It also takes two phone calls for him to finally find the hostel I am staying at. The worse bit was when he pulled over to call the second time. He was there for a good 5 minutes talking to the girl from the hostel before he told me to get back in the taxi where we proceeded to turn around and drive 30 metres and arrive at the hostel! To be fair, there were no signs at all saying it was a hostel!

The staff at the hostel are pretty crap too! It takes ages for me to check in and the girl needed a calculator to multiply 35 (cost of the room) by 2 (nights I was going to stay). She then forgets to get me to sign my signature and give me keys to my room!

I put my things down and then head to the common area. I kick a puppy by mistake! He was under my feet and I didn’t notice him! He’s the cutest thing ever! Name is Simon! Hostel looks pretty nice, but empty. Not a single whitey yet! Maybe I will be speaking Chinese again! I order food and some hot milk. I’ve really got into it! I bet I get a layer of milk on my moustache!

I meet an Aussie couple who are travelling to UK via the rest of the world! Then I meet an Indian guy, Joe and we proceed to play pool… it was the worst two games ever! A group of Danish guys then come in and put on a Guns ‘n’ Roses DVD. We hang out and play a card game called donkey. This carries on till 1 in the morning when we decide to go get some food. I feel a bit bad as whilst we were eating, the conversation gets started on weird foods in China and I give them all the stories I have heard and experienced (monkeys, seals penis etc.). I put them off their food and they don’t finish their food! Return to the hostel to find an American girl in my dorm. Try to make conversation, but she seems really weird and non-talkative!

Miles walked: 113.960m

Day 17 - October 21st

Wake up feeling better, so I decide to rent a bike for the day. Qingdao is not a great place to rent a bike as there are many hills! Pretty annoying, as I had put on a new pair of trousers and within 15 minutes, they had dirtied from grease and crap off bike!!!

I cycle to a place called Small Qingdao, which is an island connected by a land bridge off the coast. I pass the navel museum on the way. Everything in Qingdao looks soo European! I make my way to the music square… all in all, today I rode for 6 hours! I have a very sore bum!!! I wanted to go to the TV tower to see the sun set, but it closed at 5.30 and I had arrived at 5, not giving me enough time to get up the tower.

Go home. Find out my train tomorrow leaves at 10.30 in the morning, so decide to rest up and sleep… not much to say about today!

Miles walked: 111.384m

Day 16 - October 20th

My pedometer looks all mangled so I reset it. I feel my asthma playing up so sleep in until 10.30 today. People can be sooo noisy when they get ready for the day. It took the people in my room a good hour to get ready and get out of the room, making as much racket as possible! I suppose that's what I get for paying Y20 for a seven person dorm and I probably make lots of noise at night before I sleep!

I walk around looking for suitable food – I feel like eating macaroni… what my mum always made me when I was ill when I was younger (that and congee). I find a sort of fast food restaurant Chinese stylie, and order me some fried fish. It’s the most fish I have ever eaten on my own! I paid Y22 and seven six inch fishes turn up! In the end, it was just a pile of bones! I am pleased with myself!

The rest of the day is pretty shit and not really worth commenting about, but I will;

• Go to library and read a book
• Go to internet cafe
• Eat
• Internet cafe
• Sleep!

Funny thing though; I ask the reception girl if I can have a bottle of water in Chinese. She says “in English”. I’m like “what?” “Say it in English”. So I say “Can I have some water, please?” making sure to pronounce everything! She says she likes the English accent! I think I’m in! Everyone loves the British accent! Though I doubt she would have enjoyed it as much if I said it in my Watford accent! “Wor-ah!”

Miles walked: 103.763m
Steps taken: 65,030

Day 15 - October 19th

Wake up and go for a massage with Anna. Just what I needed, though I am still ill and getting worse. Anna gives me a lot of advice on travelling alone and she tells me that it looks like I had hit traveller rock bottom (with my illness) but I still had a smile on my face. This made me feel better about myself already. I go to the pharmacy to get me more drugs. I am so glad that we had the ‘going to the doctors’ lesson at BLCU (Beijing Language Cultural University).

Say good bye to Anna, she was on her way to Korea to find a job. I’ve still not hung out with anyone for more than a day! Starting to get to me a bit! I hang out at the hostel for a bit and then decide that I want to go see the sea. It’s always nice to sit and chill and watch the sea.

I find some street food boiled stylie. Basically there’s a table in the middle of the road and a pot in the middle with fish balls and different types of sea foodage! I eat five skewers and only pay Y2.5! Bargain! I go to the internet cafe for a few hours and then come out and eat at the street food place again! The lady recognised me! I want to get some fried fish, but all the fish vendors had closed.

Go back to the hostel and have a spag bog and watch Night at the Museum. A big crowd of Chinese guys gather to watch the film. I’m the only person to laugh at the subtle English jokes… feel a bit of a plonk! It was like when I watched that Hugh Grant film in the cinema and I was the only one laughing at the music based jokes... on my own!

Not much to write when I am sitting about recovering from illness!

Miles walked: 100.343m
Steps taken: 55,454

Day 14 - October 18th

Sleep in today as I’m feeling pretty ill and I thought I would take Greg’s advice and just be as lazy as possible! I finally haul myself up and shower. I ask the reception girl if I can get my laundry done anywhere near by. I had asked her last night and she said I could do it myself at the hostel. Fuck that am I going to scrub my own clothes and hang them out to dry! She directs me down the road and round the corner to a dry cleaner’s. Turns out to be Y10 a piece!!! I decide to do my undies myself and gave the lady all my over garments. I have to haggle off the time she can get it done for me… how strange!

I go back to the hostel and find Greg. We go and have breakfast together. I don’t think he was overly impressed with my choice of hole in the wall restaurant! To be fair it was a little manky! I then go to an internet cafe for four hours! Longest I’ve spent… manage to upload a lot of pix though!

I then buy some soap and prep myself to clean my own undies! I go back to the hostel and decide I’ll go explore what facilities they had… I find a washing machine… and a tumble drier!!! GAYNESS!!! I just spent Y66 on dry cleaning and Y2 on a bar of soap! The machines cost Y8 each and when I was using the tumble drier, for some reason it worked without me putting money in!

I decide to sit in the common area and play guitar to chill out. All is well until the owner comes in and tells the bar staff to put on some music. This I do not take kindly to! So I play louder and sing a few songs! After twenty minutes, the bar man comes over and gives me a beer. It was from the owner! I think I made my point! I’m feeling very petty today!!!

I finish my washing and decide to go for a walk and explore the surroundings. I do a big loop around and walk down the high street. It definitely seems more European, especially the high street. Just like back home. I think to myself, if I was home right now, the Christmas trees would be out! I see kids playing on the street; they are jumping up and then off steps. One of the kids accidentally kicks the other one mid jump and he lands on his face! It looked painful! He cried! I eat at the same restaurant as last night. Wish I wasn’t ill and I could eat all the yummy grilled seafood! It looks sooo nice!

I head back to the hostel and watch Die Hard 4. It was wicked! Scottish girl called Anna arrives. She seems pretty nice! We watch Pan’s Labyrinth until the last ten minutes where the disc is too scratched! Pretty annoying… dodgy Chinese DVDs!

I had asked for a cup of tea whilst watching the film and when everyone had left and I was on the internet, the barman tells me that the tea was Y5! Tea!!! In China!!! Y5!!! I am fuming… so I turn off the computer when I finished just to spite him! I’m feeling REALLY petty today!!!

Miles walked: 94.312m
Steps taken: 39,982

Day 13 - October 17th

I check out and go to Zoucheng (Mencius’ hometown). We drive past a street full of shops selling cannons and artillery pieces! Sat next to a really cute Chinese baby – she was being taught numbers! I’ve got to say, anyone out there who wants a cute Chinese baby… I am willing to spread my seed!

I get a motor cab from the bus station to the Mencius Temple. Lonely Planet suggests it’s a Y10 ride, I get it for Y5, but the more I think about it, I could have got it for even cheaper! A thought comes to my head; I’ve never seen a Chinese person blow their nose before! Is that why they always spit? I think more research is needed on this matter!

I start to feel really ill so get bus back to Qufu. A beggar at the bus station starts to really annoy me. I tell him I have nothing to give him and he gets annoyed with me. I mean, I’m not a mean person and maybe he got down on his luck, but him getting annoyed at me for not giving him any money is just stupid. He’s lost all pride in himself.

The bus journey to Qingdao was pretty crazy! The driver was just weaving in and out of traffic like a madman! A few near misses! Hold a pee in for a good hour and half… almost wet myself!

Once in Qingdao, I jump in a cab. Turns out the bus dropped me off in the suburbs and the hostel I want is in the city! The taxi man is very talkative. I miss most the things he says, but he seems very proud of his city and seems well travelled (Korea, Hong Kong twice) which begs me to think, how could he afford it as a humble taxi driver? Turns out he used to work in garments in Guangzhou!

Arrive in the hostel, turns out to be Y20 a night! The cheapest I have had so far in China! I meet an American guy called Greg in my room. He seems alright, but also speaks me ear off! It’s all good though, the first English convocation I had with some one face to face in ages! I think it was the same for him!

I have some freshly made noodles in a hole in the wall restaurant. Was so nice that I have a second bowl! Fat bastard!!! Play guitar in the common area… first time I’ve touched a guitar in a few weeks. They turn on the music which annoys me so I move out to the foyer and serenade the reception lady! She is nice to me from now on!

I return to my room to sleep but an American Hong Kong lady talks at me even though I tell her I am ill and need sleep! We get into an argument about Britain, she claiming that it fucked the Hong Kong people over and that they don’t let Hong Kongers into the country to work. She seems odd, doesn’t want to speak Cantonese even though I know it would have been easier for her! Odd lady! Funny… there are three stages of people in the room that night; me (young and about to start career), Greg (mid life crisis and looking to do something totally different with life) and the Old Lady (old and retired and seeing the world with her spare time)!

Miles walked: 90.559m
Steps taken: 30,432

Day 12 - October 16th

Bitten by mozzys last night on the eyebrow!!! Who bites the bloody eyebrow! This makes me angry all night and I try and find the culprit! I find lots of mozzy splats all over the walls in the room!

Wake up still ill! I think about how I want to spend the day. My original plan was to see all the attractions in Qufu and leave for Qingdao tonight. On second thoughts, I feel I need to rest and take it easy so I haggle my second nights stay at this hotel for Y50! I then get a rickshaw driver to take me to all the sights for Y20 for the day! He even took me to get breakfast and medicine for my cold!

First stop is the Confucius museum, where I get a free guided tour! The girl who gave me the tour got sooo annoyed as my Chinese was poor and I had to stop her every so often to ask her what she meant! She got really frustrated! It was hard work for both of us! Apparently she is a descendant of Confucius and was training to be a vet!

On the way to the next stop, I spy a music shop so I jump out the rickshaw and go in. I buy a harmonica, but they didn’t have any small travel size guitars! Just as I was beginning to like this place, the rickshaw driver takes me to this tackiest shittiest waxworks! They precede to rape me several places… entry, incense sticks and gay hand wash which they said was from blessed water. I should have known better, but I was caught unaware! Spend Y56 in there for stuff I really didn’t care about! I tell them I am disgusted with their behaviour and they seem to be a bit embarrassed and I tell the driver never to take me to a place like that again! He is also embarrassed! We then go past a youth hostel! The taxi driver from yesterday said there wasn’t any in town!!! I am pretty pissed off at that point!

I am then followed by a lady on a bike who insists that she gives me a tour of Konglin (the burial ground of Confucius and his descendants). She starts at Y20 but I tell her I am not interested, then she drops to Y10 and I tell her it’s not about the money, I’m just pissed off and tired from the last guided tour! She follows me all the way into the cemetery and starts chatting to me. I get into the grounds and she offers to lend me her bike for Y5 as the grounds are pretty big. I go for it! And I take her offer on the tour as courtesy! I have a great time on the bike riding around the cemetery! Other people take the motor cart thingies which cost Y10 and are just ushered around! Suckers! The lady says it should take me 20mins to ride around… I take my sweet time and end up going for 35mins!

I return to the starting point where she gives me a tour of the main Confucius’ tomb. I take this opportunity to ask her as many questions as possible and make her write things down for me… get my moneys worth! I get jipped again at his tomb where I pay my respects but pay for some flowers! She is confused why I am so stingy so I tell her about my intended three months travels and how everyone is ripping me off. She relates to me and then as she begins to understand my predicament, a lady comes up to me and starts telling my fortune. I try to run away, but I feel bad so I ask my tour lady if it’s okay to do this. She says go ahead. Now, I’m no expert in palm reading, but I know some of the stuff she was saying, I could have made up myself too! She says I am single minded and independent, not relying on my friends or family to get what I want (good guess for someone who is travelling on their own!) She said something about my 68^th birthday where I will get a gift from my son (haha) and I had to do something with that gift or I will have a premature death, otherwise, I will live for a long time (the split in my life line supposedly)! Also, I will not be rich this lifetime, but my kids will be rich from my work! Also there are two/three women in my life but I must only choose one of them. Thanks for the insightfulness! I didn’t know I was only allowed to marry one person at a time! She then asks for some money, even though at first she said she wasn’t in it for the money! I’m very reluctant, so give her Y3 (3 is a good number in Confucianism)! She is not happy! My guide tries to explain my money situation. We end up at Y6. I am not pleased and tell my guide. She now relates to me more! She then spills the beans and tells me a lot of the inside secrets and tells me never to tell anyone that she told me. I am paying far too much for things and need to be a bit more stubborn and have a goal when I arrive in towns for the first time. She turns out to be really nice and she says that she has a son of her own who is eleven. I think I play the poor ignorant son card very well!

I have a pot noodle special for lunch. The special bit is the sausages I get for it!

I visit the Confucius Temple and the Confucius Mansions. This is when I realise that if I waited, then all the Chinese tours would just go away! I started to flake out a bit so chilled out in the Gardens of the Confucius Mansions. It smelt of farm! Languages started to blur for me now as I started to hear Cantonese everywhere and talking in Chinese for so long has started to really get to me! I swear the Tannoys in shops were speaking in Cantonese, but that would make no sense at all in the north of China!

Have dinner at the same restaurant/tent I ate at last night. I tell them that I am a little ill so they tell me I should have some fish soup and they give me ginger water (no, not orange water!). Bernice (old class mate from Beijing) was actually saying the other day that chewing on ginger helps the immune system! The food seemed cheaper today… I think I must have befriended them! I have liver for dinner… it was actually really nice! I leave and the couple who own the restaurant/tent tell me to get more rest and take medicine!

I watch my favourite TV add so far. It shows a factory worker and tells of the bad conditions people are working in. Then it compares the conditions as like that of a fish swimming in dirty water! It then cuts to a picture of somebody’s lungs all black and minging from inhaling dirt and dust. Cut to fish dying and floating up to the top of the fish bowl (my fav. bit!). It then has people dressed in industrial protective gear and they all have smiling faces! The fish is now happy… I swear it must be smiling too! The ad was brought to you by Shandong Provincial Government!

Watch the replay of the England match and sleep.

Miles walked: 84.886m
Steps taken: 15,996 steps

Day 11 - October 15th

3am wake-up call!!! Didn’t get that much sleep last night. The boys were snoring, I was really cold and there was a mozzy buzzing around. I don’t know how mozzys survive in this cold. If I was them, I wouldn’t bother coming up here to feast!

We climbed the rest of the way up to the peak of the mountain. It was really cold and we did it in the pitch black. It took another three hours hike up some real steep steps. Saw the sunrise… it was beautiful!

I dunno why, but there’s something about cute Chinese girls in big army jackets! And as usual, they’re with their douchebag boyfriends! I catch a cold on the peak as I sweated so much on the way up and I don’t think the Bai Jui (rice wine) we had last night helped at all!

I treat the boys to more slurp at the peak even though they thought it was a bit too expensive up there… I was hungry! Coming down was harder then going up. Though physically it wasn’t as demanding, I really had to concentrate on my footing as my boots were too big for the steps! We walk to the midway point again and decide to take the bus down as we were all knackered. I leave Tai Shan a little Shan (mountain) of my own in the toilet! Maybe that’s why I’m ill! I have angered the gods with my poo!

Arrive in town and then leave the boys as they want to stay in Tai'an for another day whilst I want to go to Qufu (hometown of Confucius). We decide to meet again in Qingdao in a few days. The bus to Qufu was playing the same film as from Luoyang. Something about the Japanese and guns… I don’t get it!

I arrive in Qufu around midday. It looks like a real old town and the walls are still intact around it! I can’t see a single tower block. I’m guessing that would interfere with the feng shui (apparently the train station was built a few miles away from the town for the same reason). The cab driver takes me to a hotel (one that I didn’t ask to be taken to) but I was too tired and ill to argue. I haggle the room from Y120 to Y70 a night, not bad I think! I have a shower and then chat to Lisa on the phone. The first time I’ve spoken English in 3 days! I sleep for an hour!

In my wanderings around the town, I don’t know how I understand the people. I ask them a question, but then they talk at me words I just don’t know (must be Shandong dialect or really accented) but I seem to know what they are on about! I really like the look of this place, very peaceful for China! I spend the rest of the day on an internet bar and still not manage to get all my first days pix online!

Eat at the food market. I think this is the nicest place I’ve been so far… maybe it’s the drugs talking! But all the trees had fairy lights on and it looked like Christmas! I retire to my room around 8pm. Watch Bewitched in Chinese… did the trick for putting me to sleep!

Miles walked: 76.155m
Steps taken: 93,779