Day 42 - November 15th

Wake up to the boat disembarking! I open the curtains and see a wall of rock! Pretty impressive. I’m happy as no one was moved into my room last night, so I am staying in a double room and paying only the single! It’s drizzling outside!

I go for breakfast buffet, and as Leo (my man in Hong Kong), the food is just okay! I get put with the English speaking group… group Lisa, named after our local guide Lisa! We get on the coach with all these tired old people who are acting like teenagers on board! “Let’s sit in the back and cause trouble” “where’s my woman gone?” and then they start singing too! Oh dear!

The coach takes us to the Great Dam, but the rain means that we could see pretty much bugger-all! I manage to haggle for some postcards from Y20 to Y10. I’m happy! Others in the group start to complain about the standard of Lisa’s (ching)lish! Does take a lot of concentration for even me to understand her, but their tour guide rebuts them by telling them that her English is way better then their Chinese! I start chatting to the guide and help her with her English, picking out things she has said wrong! She is very grateful and I could see her using the words I helped her with in her spiel and a big smile on her face when she knows she has got her pronunciation correct!

I talk to an old Australian couple, saying how it’s a shame that it was raining and we could hardly see the dam wall. “Oh well, we can come back and see it again”… whoops, they went silent and give me a strange look… I don’t think they will be up and about for long!

We get taken though all the gift shop areas and I see some how silly some of the mark-up prices are for souvenirs! A chess set which I brought in Yiwu for the business had a price tag of Y3800. I brought it from the manufacturer for around Y20 a unit! Let’s say that the people here brought it off 2 other suppliers, both doubling the price of it for profit, that’s still less than Y100, and let’s say they try and make a profit of 100% too. That’s only around Y200! The funniest bit is that you know for sure that some idiot would buy it (probably American)!

On our way back to the boat, the guide sings a folk song for us! She told us of her story, how she used to live in the city, but then her father, an engineer moved to the 3 Gorges area to work on the dam. She became very very depressed as she was away from all her friends and couldn’t do all the things you could in the city; go shopping, hang out, find a man! But her father always told her that he was doing some thing very very important and that by building the dam, many people in China will have electricity. Harsh.

Before I get back on the cruiser, I buy some beers from a store. I get 7 beers for Y35. Some weird looking can! I get back on board and then go up to the viewing deck to watch us go through the lock system. I start conversation with the tour manager of the UK group, Gillian. She tells me of all the troubles she has had with this group and all about her line of work. Good research on what I may be doing one day! Her work takes her all over the world, she was in Thailand last week, and regularly goes to Europe and Ireland. This was her first time up the Yangtze! The lock opens and we start the slow process up the system (about 4hours).

We then watch the safety presentation (Chinese one had a total of 4 people turn up!) which wasn’t really that assuring! The riverboat guide didn’t seem to be taking it too seriously and I find it a bit funny that the talk is after a whole night on board the boat! Though Gillian says that it is the same in Germany, up the Rhine and we find out that the boat is supposed to be unsinkable and has bullet proof windows as it was once used by the Chinese President at the time.

I get talking to more of the old folk on board. We then watch a talk on pearls, where I meet two girls from Gunagdong. One was alright looking. We get chatting and I show them all my pix from my travels! Captian’s welcoming party in the evening – free champagne! (for half an hour!) Dinner was followed by a talk on acupuncture and foot massage, where Vincent, the river guide, seemed to be making a lot of it up! We then were treated to a fashion show, costumes through the ages, ethnic minorities, and surprise surprise, clothes from the store on board!

I sit on the deck round the back and play guitar for a bit and drink the beer I smuggled on board… turns out to taste like shit! Never get round to finishing the 7!

Miles walked: 283.653m

Day 41 - November 14th

Toothache! I wake up and arrive at Wuhan. I chat to the couple whilst we get our stuff ready to get off the train and they tell me that I should get a Chinese girlfriend! I then break my glasses! So much for titanium frames! One screw loose and the thing falls apart. I lose that screw! Good job I have a spare pair! I step out of the station and the place looks grim! I do not like it! So I jump on the first bus I can out of there! Apparently the bus station I was at was owned by a Hong Konger. The people’s uniforms looked a lot smarter than local Chinese companies, like air stewards!

I sleep on the bus but wake up to watch Cats and Dogs in Chinese. The journey turns out to take 5 hours, not the 3/4 hours suggested in the Lonely Planet! I get to Yichang and put leave my backpack and then go get something to eat. I forget how much difference there is from inland places and coastal areas. I order some food at a restaurant and a bollock-load of food turns up! I didn’t even get halfway through it! And it was dirt cheap! Although, it was smothered in oil and far too chilli for my likings!

I walk about the town and feel all icky! I’ve not showered in a while and I must smell... run out of deodorant too! I walk pass a square where there is a performance and music. Why isn’t there things like this in other towns? I spend a few hours in a internet cafe. I then find a department store and get some deodorant! Thank god!

I then decide to have a hot chocolate and sit at the square. A group of kids arrive with a teacher. Bit late for a school trip to see performances, it’s 6pm... they then get into formation and then start dancing! They weren’t here to watch a performance, they were here to practice their cha-cha! The teacher was also the stereotypical dance teacher snob too! The kids were well good too! Amazing! All we got at my primary school was gay interpretative dance (I’m a tree) and morris dancing!

Then from the other side of the square, I hear music. I turn and see there are people practising Riverdance! It was amazing! After a while, On another corner of the square, ladies with drums start playing! I love this place! It’s a musical square! At 7pm, the real show starts and the stage is alight with people dancing and performing. I see a midget in the crowd. I don’t know why, but it reminds me of porn... don’t ask! I decide the ethnic minority dancers are fit! And in some ways, the show reminded me of our performance we did at BLCU when my class cross-dressed and sang!

I succumbed to the big M and get a McCheese burger! I sit down in Maccy D's and am surrounded by couples. How romantic! Dinner at McDonalds! I then get a drunken flash back of Shanghai and the Danish guys heckling all the people in McDonalds after our night out in Bon Bon!

I go back to the bus station for my backpack. It’s a close one, as the place was closing! Wouldn’t have been able to pick up my pack 5 mins later! The lady then tries to help me to my pier to get on my boat. She isn’t sure where it is, and calls her friends for me. She finally gives up and then puts me in a cab, but not one which is outside the station, as she says that they are not very honest! My cab driver takes me to the wrong pier at first and then after a few calls, he takes me down some dimly-lit lane and drive right pass the boat! After turning back I am finally arrive at the pier and embark on the Yangtze River!

The cruiser looks fantastic! I feel a little strange, as I rock up with my backpack and probably smelling bad whilst there are loads of middle aged people wondering around. There is a little bit of trouble at the check-in counter, as they had me down as from Hong Kong. It was run like a hotel! Very nice. I get to my room and Do the 3 S’s; Shit, Shower, Shave. I then look around the boat; it’s full of middle aged tours! Not great! I go to the bar and get a drink; Y50 for a JD and Coke. Doesn’t look all that exciting on the boat!

Miles walked: 278.595m

Day 31 - November 4th

Wake up late… shoulders hurt! No hot water for shower! I have breakfast/lunch at the restaurant downstairs from the hostel. It looks as though it used to be just a restaurant, but then they added a hostel on top. There’s a nice water feature at the restaurant. I eat noodles. I then rent a bike and ride into town (my hostel seems to be miles away from town). I get to a pagoda which I enter and climb. It’s really nice and the views are pretty good, but I just can’t be arsed with anything! I’m just bored of it all now!

I ditch my bike and then pretty much force myself to walk by the West Lake (bikes are not allowed) which is full of people. What’s worse, it’s full of couples. Yea, it’s pretty romantic, with all the cheesy love songs blaring out the speaker system, but it gets a bit too much for me! I start to hate all the people who are showing too much affection for each other in public! (I used to be unashamedly be one!) Then I see all the doochebag looking people with their girlfriends. I don’t know which is worse? Overly affectionate or dooschebag couples?

I find a pavilion with people taking turns in singing opera and playing music. Nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon methinks! Then I get to this square where it seems that people are just gathering in crowds and arguing! It looks pretty heated! I suppose ancient Greece was very much like this?

I meet an Aussie lady called Andrena from Melbourne outside the ticket booth for a boat trip. I approach her and make conversation and try to help translate for her with the ticket booth lady. I crack one of the best jokes ever! “I don’t know if I wanna go on this boat” “me neither, I suppose we’re in the same boat!” hahahaha… I guess you had to be there! We take the boat trip and see all the islands in the lake. Not much to say. Just some islands innit! We decide to have dinner and have a Hangzhou specialty: duck. It was pretty nice, a bit on the salty side though.

Andrena then goes to a show which apparently foreigners always like to watch! It’s Y300 so I decide against it! I find a busker on the way to my bike and then start chatting and play a few numbers! Yes… I did. I played Wonderwall!

I finally find my bike and cycle home. I chill out and use the Internet. When I go to pay for it, the boss tells me not to bother, just use it! I also meet the other person staying in my room. We chat and he says that as long as I’m Chinese, we are friends! He seems real nice, a art student from Dalian. A big group of students arrive in the hostel tonight, but not in my room!

Miles walked: 203.519m

Day 14 - October 18th

Sleep in today as I’m feeling pretty ill and I thought I would take Greg’s advice and just be as lazy as possible! I finally haul myself up and shower. I ask the reception girl if I can get my laundry done anywhere near by. I had asked her last night and she said I could do it myself at the hostel. Fuck that am I going to scrub my own clothes and hang them out to dry! She directs me down the road and round the corner to a dry cleaner’s. Turns out to be Y10 a piece!!! I decide to do my undies myself and gave the lady all my over garments. I have to haggle off the time she can get it done for me… how strange!

I go back to the hostel and find Greg. We go and have breakfast together. I don’t think he was overly impressed with my choice of hole in the wall restaurant! To be fair it was a little manky! I then go to an internet cafe for four hours! Longest I’ve spent… manage to upload a lot of pix though!

I then buy some soap and prep myself to clean my own undies! I go back to the hostel and decide I’ll go explore what facilities they had… I find a washing machine… and a tumble drier!!! GAYNESS!!! I just spent Y66 on dry cleaning and Y2 on a bar of soap! The machines cost Y8 each and when I was using the tumble drier, for some reason it worked without me putting money in!

I decide to sit in the common area and play guitar to chill out. All is well until the owner comes in and tells the bar staff to put on some music. This I do not take kindly to! So I play louder and sing a few songs! After twenty minutes, the bar man comes over and gives me a beer. It was from the owner! I think I made my point! I’m feeling very petty today!!!

I finish my washing and decide to go for a walk and explore the surroundings. I do a big loop around and walk down the high street. It definitely seems more European, especially the high street. Just like back home. I think to myself, if I was home right now, the Christmas trees would be out! I see kids playing on the street; they are jumping up and then off steps. One of the kids accidentally kicks the other one mid jump and he lands on his face! It looked painful! He cried! I eat at the same restaurant as last night. Wish I wasn’t ill and I could eat all the yummy grilled seafood! It looks sooo nice!

I head back to the hostel and watch Die Hard 4. It was wicked! Scottish girl called Anna arrives. She seems pretty nice! We watch Pan’s Labyrinth until the last ten minutes where the disc is too scratched! Pretty annoying… dodgy Chinese DVDs!

I had asked for a cup of tea whilst watching the film and when everyone had left and I was on the internet, the barman tells me that the tea was Y5! Tea!!! In China!!! Y5!!! I am fuming… so I turn off the computer when I finished just to spite him! I’m feeling REALLY petty today!!!

Miles walked: 94.312m
Steps taken: 39,982

Day 13 - October 17th

I check out and go to Zoucheng (Mencius’ hometown). We drive past a street full of shops selling cannons and artillery pieces! Sat next to a really cute Chinese baby – she was being taught numbers! I’ve got to say, anyone out there who wants a cute Chinese baby… I am willing to spread my seed!

I get a motor cab from the bus station to the Mencius Temple. Lonely Planet suggests it’s a Y10 ride, I get it for Y5, but the more I think about it, I could have got it for even cheaper! A thought comes to my head; I’ve never seen a Chinese person blow their nose before! Is that why they always spit? I think more research is needed on this matter!

I start to feel really ill so get bus back to Qufu. A beggar at the bus station starts to really annoy me. I tell him I have nothing to give him and he gets annoyed with me. I mean, I’m not a mean person and maybe he got down on his luck, but him getting annoyed at me for not giving him any money is just stupid. He’s lost all pride in himself.

The bus journey to Qingdao was pretty crazy! The driver was just weaving in and out of traffic like a madman! A few near misses! Hold a pee in for a good hour and half… almost wet myself!

Once in Qingdao, I jump in a cab. Turns out the bus dropped me off in the suburbs and the hostel I want is in the city! The taxi man is very talkative. I miss most the things he says, but he seems very proud of his city and seems well travelled (Korea, Hong Kong twice) which begs me to think, how could he afford it as a humble taxi driver? Turns out he used to work in garments in Guangzhou!

Arrive in the hostel, turns out to be Y20 a night! The cheapest I have had so far in China! I meet an American guy called Greg in my room. He seems alright, but also speaks me ear off! It’s all good though, the first English convocation I had with some one face to face in ages! I think it was the same for him!

I have some freshly made noodles in a hole in the wall restaurant. Was so nice that I have a second bowl! Fat bastard!!! Play guitar in the common area… first time I’ve touched a guitar in a few weeks. They turn on the music which annoys me so I move out to the foyer and serenade the reception lady! She is nice to me from now on!

I return to my room to sleep but an American Hong Kong lady talks at me even though I tell her I am ill and need sleep! We get into an argument about Britain, she claiming that it fucked the Hong Kong people over and that they don’t let Hong Kongers into the country to work. She seems odd, doesn’t want to speak Cantonese even though I know it would have been easier for her! Odd lady! Funny… there are three stages of people in the room that night; me (young and about to start career), Greg (mid life crisis and looking to do something totally different with life) and the Old Lady (old and retired and seeing the world with her spare time)!

Miles walked: 90.559m
Steps taken: 30,432

Day 12 - October 16th

Bitten by mozzys last night on the eyebrow!!! Who bites the bloody eyebrow! This makes me angry all night and I try and find the culprit! I find lots of mozzy splats all over the walls in the room!

Wake up still ill! I think about how I want to spend the day. My original plan was to see all the attractions in Qufu and leave for Qingdao tonight. On second thoughts, I feel I need to rest and take it easy so I haggle my second nights stay at this hotel for Y50! I then get a rickshaw driver to take me to all the sights for Y20 for the day! He even took me to get breakfast and medicine for my cold!

First stop is the Confucius museum, where I get a free guided tour! The girl who gave me the tour got sooo annoyed as my Chinese was poor and I had to stop her every so often to ask her what she meant! She got really frustrated! It was hard work for both of us! Apparently she is a descendant of Confucius and was training to be a vet!

On the way to the next stop, I spy a music shop so I jump out the rickshaw and go in. I buy a harmonica, but they didn’t have any small travel size guitars! Just as I was beginning to like this place, the rickshaw driver takes me to this tackiest shittiest waxworks! They precede to rape me several places… entry, incense sticks and gay hand wash which they said was from blessed water. I should have known better, but I was caught unaware! Spend Y56 in there for stuff I really didn’t care about! I tell them I am disgusted with their behaviour and they seem to be a bit embarrassed and I tell the driver never to take me to a place like that again! He is also embarrassed! We then go past a youth hostel! The taxi driver from yesterday said there wasn’t any in town!!! I am pretty pissed off at that point!

I am then followed by a lady on a bike who insists that she gives me a tour of Konglin (the burial ground of Confucius and his descendants). She starts at Y20 but I tell her I am not interested, then she drops to Y10 and I tell her it’s not about the money, I’m just pissed off and tired from the last guided tour! She follows me all the way into the cemetery and starts chatting to me. I get into the grounds and she offers to lend me her bike for Y5 as the grounds are pretty big. I go for it! And I take her offer on the tour as courtesy! I have a great time on the bike riding around the cemetery! Other people take the motor cart thingies which cost Y10 and are just ushered around! Suckers! The lady says it should take me 20mins to ride around… I take my sweet time and end up going for 35mins!

I return to the starting point where she gives me a tour of the main Confucius’ tomb. I take this opportunity to ask her as many questions as possible and make her write things down for me… get my moneys worth! I get jipped again at his tomb where I pay my respects but pay for some flowers! She is confused why I am so stingy so I tell her about my intended three months travels and how everyone is ripping me off. She relates to me and then as she begins to understand my predicament, a lady comes up to me and starts telling my fortune. I try to run away, but I feel bad so I ask my tour lady if it’s okay to do this. She says go ahead. Now, I’m no expert in palm reading, but I know some of the stuff she was saying, I could have made up myself too! She says I am single minded and independent, not relying on my friends or family to get what I want (good guess for someone who is travelling on their own!) She said something about my 68^th birthday where I will get a gift from my son (haha) and I had to do something with that gift or I will have a premature death, otherwise, I will live for a long time (the split in my life line supposedly)! Also, I will not be rich this lifetime, but my kids will be rich from my work! Also there are two/three women in my life but I must only choose one of them. Thanks for the insightfulness! I didn’t know I was only allowed to marry one person at a time! She then asks for some money, even though at first she said she wasn’t in it for the money! I’m very reluctant, so give her Y3 (3 is a good number in Confucianism)! She is not happy! My guide tries to explain my money situation. We end up at Y6. I am not pleased and tell my guide. She now relates to me more! She then spills the beans and tells me a lot of the inside secrets and tells me never to tell anyone that she told me. I am paying far too much for things and need to be a bit more stubborn and have a goal when I arrive in towns for the first time. She turns out to be really nice and she says that she has a son of her own who is eleven. I think I play the poor ignorant son card very well!

I have a pot noodle special for lunch. The special bit is the sausages I get for it!

I visit the Confucius Temple and the Confucius Mansions. This is when I realise that if I waited, then all the Chinese tours would just go away! I started to flake out a bit so chilled out in the Gardens of the Confucius Mansions. It smelt of farm! Languages started to blur for me now as I started to hear Cantonese everywhere and talking in Chinese for so long has started to really get to me! I swear the Tannoys in shops were speaking in Cantonese, but that would make no sense at all in the north of China!

Have dinner at the same restaurant/tent I ate at last night. I tell them that I am a little ill so they tell me I should have some fish soup and they give me ginger water (no, not orange water!). Bernice (old class mate from Beijing) was actually saying the other day that chewing on ginger helps the immune system! The food seemed cheaper today… I think I must have befriended them! I have liver for dinner… it was actually really nice! I leave and the couple who own the restaurant/tent tell me to get more rest and take medicine!

I watch my favourite TV add so far. It shows a factory worker and tells of the bad conditions people are working in. Then it compares the conditions as like that of a fish swimming in dirty water! It then cuts to a picture of somebody’s lungs all black and minging from inhaling dirt and dust. Cut to fish dying and floating up to the top of the fish bowl (my fav. bit!). It then has people dressed in industrial protective gear and they all have smiling faces! The fish is now happy… I swear it must be smiling too! The ad was brought to you by Shandong Provincial Government!

Watch the replay of the England match and sleep.

Miles walked: 84.886m
Steps taken: 15,996 steps

Day 8 - October 12th

Worse wake-up ever!!! People slamming doors and cacking outside. The horrid cacking, clearing throat sound that the Chinese all seem to do! I go and have breakfast… disgusting slurp and preserved shit! I eat a few of the plain buns and an egg. That reminded me of my cat Chairman Mao who likes to eat eggs. Strange! I then go to find some place to wash my clothes. Turns out it was going to cost Y100 because they measure it in the pieces of clothing rather than weight and I had a lot of underwear! I walk away… it’s going to be a bad day.

On the way back to my room I bump into an American guy called Owen. I ask him if he knew of anywhere to get clothes washed. He seems in a happy mood as he has just got his done at the same place and thought it a bargain! I decide to get my clothes washed for Y100. To top it off, it was drizzling outside which continued all day!

On my way out, I bump into Owen again and we spend the rest of the day together seeing the sights in Kaifeng. We see a lot that day as we hop from destination to destination via rickshaws. We visit the Temple of the Chief Minister, Shaanshangan Guildhall, Longting Park (old palace) and Tieta Park to see the Iron Pagoda. The pagoda is claimed to be the best (number one) in China! It is pretty cool and we climb to the top to find a group of men stinking of booze and giggling! Why didn’t I think of that? There is also this strange system in Kaifeng where if you tell the people of the ticket offices that the rickshaw people took you there, they get Y2 for food money! Pretty cool system I think! Everyone’s a winner!

Owen turns out to be a pretty sound guy and was working/studying in Hong Kong for the last year and really got into the local music scene there, something which I didn’t manage to do! I guess the Americans who usually leave the country are always the sounder ones!

We then decide to go to the Sacred Heart of Jesus Church. Looks like a Catholic style church.. Seeming that we had done two of the worlds major religions we decide why stop now? We walk half a block to see a well which is what remains of the old synagogue (Kaifeng used to have a large Jewish population). It is situated in the boiler room of the number four People’s Hospital. Walking through the hospital was one of the most messed up things I’ve done in a while! We walk past a room where it seems a patient (Owen informed me later that it was a lady) who just looked grim and had a sort of stand and cloth looped around her jaw, keeping her head up. I really don’t know what the hell it was but I walked away as fast as possible! Messed up! Owen decides to go back for a second look! We walk into the boiler and find a well… not much to it!

We then walk to Dongda Mosque via the Muslim quarter. Not as nice as the mosque I saw in Xi'an but had the same hallmarks… looks just like a Chinese temple! So four major religions in a day! Can’t do that in many cities, I tell you!

We then walk past a shop which has a load of kegs in the window. We stop in to have a few bevys! German beer… expensive, but you have to treat yourself sometimes! I also find the nicest smelling portaloo I have ever had the pleasure to use!

Have dinner in the night market. We sit down and order our food and then a lady with a guitar and a mic sits down on the table next to ours. We decide to invite her over and Owen asks her to play a few songs that he has on his iPod. No luck… too contemporary! So we ask her to play her favourite song and then I also play a song. I rock! I then ask her to play ‘The Moon Represents My Heart’ a classic Chinese song which I really like. No one else in the street agrees with me… too cliché maybe!

Owen suggests that I should record and play some Chinese folk songs and package it in a way for western audiences. I tell him my time came and went long ago…

Miles walked: 54.355m
Steps taken: 38,310